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Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Arsenal of Freedom

Much has been made of the weaponry of "New Media", the Blog-o-Verse tm. We've got the MSM jaspers on the ropes, fellows! Part of blogdom's potency is its mercurial shape, ever-changing, shifting in hue and reflectivity. The inconstant nature of blogging, its reactivity to change, its camouflage; the noobs, and abandoned attempts, all render it impossible to pin down.

The variable architecture of blogdom is punctuated by motes of constancy, bloggers who can be counted upon, whose aim is true; them wot's always there. Vox Day; now THERE'S a howitzer for ya. His aim is true, and I have yet to see a dud fired. Nate, the ineffable BloggerBlaster, is a Fort Sumter cannon, loose, mayhap, but definitely with Southern fried flavor. James Lileks' humor indicates a laser sight that's just a little off.
Vidad, I dunno, I always smell curry when he's around. A Khyber Rifle, maybe.
Pretty Lady is a pearl-handled derringer. There are a few who are deep pits with filth-encrusted punji sticks at the bottom.

Me, I'm an annoying little airsoft pistol, popping up from behind the crates and stinging your neck.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I call shenanigans AND Bravo Sierra
on Mythbusters

So the Greatest, Most Vitriolic debate online has been solved on MYTHBUSTERS.

Will an aeroplane placed upon a conveyor belt going the opposite direction and matched in speed to the belt be able to take off?

This is such a stupidly flawed attempt. The key is the plane remaining stationary. In NEITHER test, micro with an RC plane on a treadmill, or macro with an ultralight on a tarpaulin strip towed by Jamie's truck, was the plane's speed synced to the opposing speed of the belt. There was ALWAYS forward motion relative to the conveyor belt.

The Mythbusters test is busted.

The Aardvark is saddened. As such, he needed a picture of the Fireflash to cheer him up.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The discomfort of group sex.
(or) The Flu

I am currently involved in my own private orgy.
And I won't have to walk the aisle on Sunday!

The Evil Bug is currently using my body as its breeding grounds. Nasty viri stickin' their DNA where it doesn't belong. My own cells bursting with viral spawn.

The flu is not as fun as it appears.

Thus, I may not be as present as I have been. Here, here, and here reside descriptions of my last bout, Wherein I Throw a Tantrum, and Learn that Pretty Lady Loves the Aardvark Truly and Well, Despite His Ill-Behavior, and offers the Best of Agape. Please read in order, and include the comments.

Meanwhile I shall putter, and cough, and rail that i have things to do.And while my characterization of the current bout may not be quite biologically accurate, well...
It'll sure add interest to the Google hits!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Things To Come.

The Dread Dormomoo and I are watching the Great Wall documentary on Discovery. During breaks, they are flogging a Jurassic Park Revisited-style program about attempts to commit jiggery-pokery with DNA, and bring back, say, a T-Rex. (Why a T-Rex? Why a soul-less eating machine? Stick legs on a Great White, why don'tcha? Isn't there a cute veggiesaurus to engineer?) Of course, whatever is produced will likely be RE-produced. At this realization, we came to this thought.

Dinosaurs are to Asteroids as Trailer Parks are to Tornadoes.

Call Art Bell and George Noory!!! If the Crichton scenario occurs, THAT will be what brings The Big Rock.

Maybe this 2012 Mayan Calendar end of the world thing is not that far off after all.

Friday, January 25, 2008

This is long, but is Important,
and so Should Be Read.

CunningDove has brought up An Infinite Sadness.

To quote the divine CD:

...the nut cases that called to complain to one of my favoriate radio stations for playing Sprite commercials on a Christian Station. Ya know, cause a "sprite" was an Irish Imp.

An imp being an emissary of the Evil One, more mischievous than wicked. Hmmm...y'know I have never read of an "imp" in the Scriptures. Or a Sprite.

So why are these warders-off of spiritual danger even worrying about them? They are mythological creatures, like faeries, unicorns and Nessie. They are not in the Miserific hierarchy in the book of Ephesians. Jesus didn't cast out imps. Neither did He cast out midichlorians.

A local "study group" had a leading of the Holy Spirit to rid their households of Things. Alas, they did not go the Franciscan route of Poverty, no. These were Specific Things, like Barbies, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle toys, and Star Wars figures, because of Mystical Powers represented thereby.

Except for Barbie. Her...superstructure...was feared to be a source of Bad Body Image for the little girls. I've never heard anyone but feminists and charismaniacs whinge about Barbie's boobosity.

I may have held forth on this in the past, but there is a phenomenon in the Christian hinterlands I have dubbed "Holy Ghost Law". Here's how it works:

In my praying - meditation - and/or overheated imagination, I get a "leading" that I need to clear up an area of my life. Say I collect Star Wars stuff...for some reason it is fingered as incipient idolatry, so I should get rid of my stuff. If it is truly the Lord's leading, then surely I should do so. The Ephesian Christians burned their magic books, though I'm not certain that PVC action figures quite translate the same. So I get rid of the Star Wars stuff, and achieve some measure of peace or victory in that area of my life. If that is as far as it goes, fine. But come Thursday night, and I share my Leading and Victory with the prayer group, and a subtle message gets passed along:

God blessed me for doing this. He'll bless you if you do it, too.

Very subtle, caught rather than taught. Subjective. A week from Saturday, everyone has cleaned their kids' closets out, and the smoke of burning plastic carries the praises and obedience of His people God-ward. A movement has begun, a Law has gone forth.
"Holy Ghost Law", so called because a "leading by the Spirit" to an individual was communicated to the group, and they bought it. No checking Scripture, trying the spirits, just Being the Herd.

Peter was called out to walk on the water. No-one else on the boat.

This is ultimately the same mechanism that spreads wacky superstitions throughout the church. If you watch a horror movie, it's an invitation for a demon to oppress you.

Steven King novel?
Demon come-on.

60's Tiki decor?

Heavy metal Rock and/or Roll?
Oh, such demons...

Travolta's Battlefield Earth ?
That's just bad taste.

PLEASE to give me chapter-and-verse on the instant possession business. A Christian, the Holy Spirit resident, is nowhere shown in Scripture as being in danger of being demonized. Just not in there. So where did the demon-under-every-rock doctrine come from?

I have no idea. I have suspicions, though. From the barking and writhing at Cane Ridge and other revivals of the Second Great Awakening, down the sawdust trail of 20'th century revivalism, to the stadium crusades and television huckstervangelists, emotional histrionics and psychodrama have played a huge role.in getting a response from the audience. Go here for a look at the role of bringing a hearer to crisis so as to "make a decision for Christ". What better hook than to blame some of the fireworks on the Devil and his minions. Because of their emotional appeals, revivalists create their own audiences, often the unstable, mentally ill, or lookers-for-a-quick-fix. By adroit manipulation, the "preachers" can bring massive emotional pressure to bear: to contribute, to confess, to make "a decision for Christ", pressure that reads out in unusual ways: crying, wailing, trembling, and worse.

Compare the tactics of 20th century revivalism to those of the Early Church, when a disciple was taken through a period of study of the Word of God and reflection before being baptised, so the believer could truly and informedly make confession of Jesus as the Son of God.

It required study, discussion, disciple-making. and no quick fixes. Even faith and baptism is not a quick fix (Insta-Christian...JUST ADD WATER ) beyond what the Scriptures teach

Acts 2:38, And Peter said unto them, Repent ye, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ unto the remission of your sins; and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. ASV,

1Pe 3:21 Those {Noahic} flood waters were like baptism that now saves you. But baptism is more than just washing your body. It means turning to God with a clear conscience, because Jesus Christ was raised from death. CEV

Rom 6:3 Do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into His death?
Rom 6:4 Therefore we were buried with Him by baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father; even so we also should walk in newness of life.
Rom 6:5 For if we have been joined together in the likeness of His death, we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection; CEV

As your entry into the Kingdom, and the burial of the old man of sin, you have a new start, but it is the start of growth to maturity. It's a long haul deal.

The superstitions that are rife throughout Christendom today are symptomatic of the desire for the quick fix. Got a problem with a habit, or besetting sin? Go to a deliverance service and get it cast out!

Now, if through the study of God's word, you come to a place where the tribal masks in your den make you uncomfortable, by all means, take 'em down.(Jas 4:17 Therefore to him who knows to do good, and does not do it, to him it is sin.) But don't turn it into a universal commandment. If my Thunderbirds collection is troublesome to the Almighty, well, that's what the Word and the Spirit are for.(Joh 16:8 And when that One [the Holy Spirit] comes, He will convict the world concerning sin, and concerning righteousness, and concerning judgment.)

Just don't do the Spirit's job for Him. Abraham was God's Little Helper, and we read of the results of that in the Mid-East news all the time.
Jamie, the Aussie genius, connected a loose synapse in my brain with this Faux News bit:

US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Thursday the challenges facing Colombia will only get harder if a trade deal with Washington doesn't pass, as she met with union members during a visit to try to revive the pact. The union members want regulations and restrictions in the USA removed from some of their goods, specifically, cocaine.

As many stupid things as the Give-mint does with OUR money, if everyone is so exercised about drug use, why doesn't Washington just buy up all of the cocaine? Corner the market. Then they could do what they might as well do with the rest of our tax dollars: incinerate the drug. OR, they could set up "clinics" to administer the stuff to Those In Need of it.

For a nominal fee. Very nominal, so that there is no way to recoup the cost. That would be par.

The FDA could re-define "Vitamin C" to "Vitamin Cocaine", and use it as a breakfast cereal additive. It would be some improvement on all that sugar, and having more "vitamins" would make parents feel better about feeding their kids the junk, instead of "have-it-all" Mom staying home and actually cooking food for the li'l darlin's. Maybe the coke could help Johnny focus a bit more, and he wouldn't need his Ritalin.

Might be a good idea to actually follow the serving sizes, though.

Perhaps administer it to Bernanke and the Fed yes-men, you know, to stimulate actual thought.

Give Jorge Dubya a brimmin' bowl of Capn' Crunch before the State of the Union, and you'd have a Pay-Per-View event.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I have to know...

Why is virtually EVERYTHING marketed as "Christian TV" such unmitigated crap, such as is unworthy for my compost heap. (Yaaay! My "Most Hated Christian Blogger" award is in the mail!)

Seriously...I have lived in Flandersville, with a diet of "Little House" and "Where the Red Fern Grows", and I have moved. Now, both of those worthy examples are secular works, and delightsome in their way, but they serve to illustrate that the best that "Christian Programming" has to offer...is produced by the secular world.

Come on, the best thing that "Christian TV" has ever had to offer is "Davey and Goliath" (pre-70's) and "Flying House". OK, I'll spot you "Gospel Bill" for the sheer quirkiness of Kenneth Copeland as the black hat. And "Bananas", the family-friendly stand-up comedy show. But that is IT!

I received an ad for SkyAngel, a satellite TV service featuring different "Christian" "Inspirational" and "Family" TV and radio channels. Hear what the SkyAngel blurb saith:

Our Vision:
To provide a global communications platform as an instrument of unity to equip the Body of Christ to fulfill the Great Commission.

Our Mission: To build and operate a global communications system as the most effective means of assuring that the Gospel will penetrate every nation, culture and people.

Mercy. It is so sad that Jesus had the bad luck to come to earth 2000 years before global communications technology was available. All that apostolic sandal-leather gone to waste. The Vision of SkyAngel is breathtaking, and utterly vain.

"To provide a global communications platform as an instrument of unity"

Hmmmm....seems the New Testament has a thing or two to say about that:

Ephesians 4:1-6
(1) I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beseech you that you walk worthy of the calling with which you are called,
(2) with all lowliness and meekness, with long-suffering, forbearing one another in love,
(3) endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
(4) There is one body and one Spirit, even as you are called in one hope of your calling,
(5) one Lord, one faith, one baptism,
(6) one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in you all.

The seven unities expressed in the passage form a basis for our unity, the unity we are to strive for.

Eph 4:11 And truly He gave some to be apostles, and some to be prophets, and some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers,
Eph 4:12 for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ.
Eph 4:13 And this until we all come into the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a full-grown man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ;

God gave apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors (shepherds, bishops) and teachers to teach and equip us to be in unity and maturity. To whom did he give these gifts?

SkyAngel? EWTN? TBN? CBN?

The church.

Once again, men have a Real Good Idea (see the vision and mission above) that utterly fails to bow the knee to the Lord it purports to serve. God did not call a satellite network to preach the Gospel, or to promote unity. He called the church, commissioned the church in Christ to spread the Good News. Don't misunderstand, I am no King James Luddite, insisting on sword-and-sandal evangelism, with but a papyrus sheaf of Aramaic verse clutched earnestly in a sweaty palm. My point is that it is the church, not some business or company, that is called upon to do the work...of the church. The church may do radio, or even have a satellite uplink, I reckon, to spread the Good News. But for the job of making disciples (where this unity business happens) you must have face time, one person taking the edges off of another, learning to live the Gospel, to do the Gospel. That is how "the Gospel will penetrate every nation, culture and people.", by men and women teaching other men and women how to be Christians.

Part and parcel with the "evangelistic mission" of Christian TV is having stuff to watch when you're not watching preaching and teaching. After all, a steady diet of Joel Osteen, Benny Hinn, and Jessie DuPlantis would be like eating a steady diet of Twinkies and Cap'n Crunch. You need some meat and potatoes...like Ozzie and Harriet reruns, nutritional supplement infomercials, and kids shows. Kid's shows like this. And this

To truly understand my horror, go here:"The Legend at Gaither's Pond" (by Live Bait Productions). Ugly AND twaddly. Sweet. Seriously...the character design scares me! Shucks...just go down the list.

Can I do CG animation? No, but I know what looks good. The Veggie Tales do an excellent job of writing and animation (OK, I'll spot you Veggie Tales, but NO MORE).

I remember when Focus on the Family began its run of the MOST excellent "Adventures in Odyssey" radio dramas, there were some homeschool-type mothers (yes, we have homeschooled our four kids) who would write in to Dr.Dobson to complain about the Bad Guys on his show.

Pause and savor the irony there.

Dobson, or one of his production staff, explained the need for conflict to move the story.
Silly man, he doesn't need conflict or drama. to tell the story. I mean, God didn't use conflict in the Bible to get the spiritual message across.

(pauses a beat)

There is no need for twaddly treacle to instruct children, or to entertain them, but sadly, twaddle seems the bill of fare for most Christian TV. Second-rate animation or set design does not present the Kingdom in a good light, nor the Excellence which should befit the work of the church.

Please, PLEASE. If you are a Christian, and in Media, PLEASE do it as unto the Lord, with excellence. If it is to promote the message, make that a double.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Best quote in AY-while.

Plain and simple, legalism is "any attempt to rely on self-effort to either attain or maintain our justification before God." It's the mistaken belief that being "right" will somehow make us righteous. That if we just get all our theological ducks in a row, cross all our t's and dot our i's, then God will be pleased with us and accept us as holy and good. But this is simply not the case.

From ladiesagainstfeminism.com

Thank you.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

I have LOST it!

I have the BOX...but the DVD is missing. Gerry Anderson did this amazing, and amazingly bad movie, Journey to the Far Side of the Sun (aka Doppelganger in Europe). The effects were up to SUPERMARIONATION standards. Derek Meddings ALWAYS rocks. The soundtrack by Barry Gray is lush, and his use of electronica in the space sequences is inspired, but overall, it is a tad turgid for the subject matter. Yeah, I have blasphemed.
I like the music, a lot, but it IS overdone.

I shall be like the woman who lost her dowry coin in Jesus' parable, who turned her house upside-down to find it. I've GOT to find it. It's OOP, and the MINIMUM I've seen it for online is $99.99.

Synopsis (Spoiler city Ahead) (thanks wikipedia)

The film begins with the discovery of an unknown planet orbiting exactly the opposite side of the Sun from Earth (an idea reminiscent of the Antichthon or Counter-Earth proposed by Philolaus in the fifth century B.C). The European Space Exploration Council (EUROSEC) and NASA send British astrophysicist John Kane (Ian Hendry) and American astronaut Col. Glenn Ross (Roy Thinnes) to the new planet in a rocket which resembles a Saturn 5 rocket.

During their long voyage, they are put into hibernation, and are maintained by a pair of on board Heart/Lung/Kidney machines, meaning that they will have no recollection of the journey. When they awaken, they enter orbit of the planet and do an initial survey. They find the planet's atmosphere to be breathable but they see no signs of life. They decide to go forward with a landing. They suit up, and go through an access tunnel to reach their lifting body lander which slides out the rear of the mother ship.

As they enter the atmosphere, the ship's controls begin to short out and malfunction. They lose all control of the craft, which clips a mountaintop before crashing into rocky terrain. After the crew is clear of the burning wreckage, a suited figure picks them up into a hovering unfamiliar ship.

They find they have been taken aboard an air-sea rescue craft. It appears that the crew have somehow returned to Earth instead of going to the planet. They are discreetly returned to the space center, with Kane in critical condition. He later dies of his injuries.

Ross is grilled by EUROSEC officials who accuse him of aborting the mission. Ross denies turning back, saying he and Kane actually arrived at the new planet, and could not explain why he is now on Earth.

Soon, Ross puts together the shocking fact that he is not on Earth at all - but on the planet, which is an identical Earth where everything is a mirror image of our own. At first, his own wife Sharon (Lynn Loring) and others at the space agency think he is insane for claiming signs and even the layout of his apartment on the spaceport's base are backwards, but he convinces the director of EUROSEC, Jason Webb (Patrick Wymark) that it is true by easily reading documents and written directions shown as a reflection in a mirror. Ross theorizes that everything that is done on his Earth is done on the planet at the same time, but opposite to it. If he tries to go back, he will return as if nothing happened.

Concern over whether the duplicate shuttle craft he and Kane used to come to Earth from the spaceship share the same electrical charge is raised, but Ross decides to try. He takes off in a shuttle he has named "DOPPELGANGER," meaning "double," (written in our manner of left to right) to dock with the Earth ship he came in to retrieve its flight recorder. But as he docks, the electrical systems short out -- they were wrong, the polarity of electricity is the same on both worlds. He loses contact with the ground base, and his shuttle craft undocks from the ship, hurtling towards the ground with the automatic approach system locked on. This locks out his controls resulting him having no flight control as he decends into the atmosphere. When ground control realizes his situation, they disengage the system, but too late, resulting in the shuttle crashing into a second mission rocket. He is killed instantly and the crash causes a chain reaction of explosions destroying the space center in a style typical of Gerry Anderson production.

The final scene shows an elderly Webb, long ago dismissed as head of the space agency, institutionalized and telling the staff there about what had happened (the disaster had destroyed all evidence). In his dementia, he sees his reflection in a mirror mounted in front of a window, and in an attempt to touch his mirror self, crashes through the mirror and window to fall to his death.

Friday, January 18, 2008

What you believe has consequences.
(With thanks to Gary North)

One of the most damnable lines ever uttered by a preacher was said by J. Vernon McGee."You don't polish brass on a sinking ship."

His point, as I recall, was that since JEE-sus is coming, oh, day after tomorrow, then we don't need to be concerned about improving things in the world. Social justice (granted, a phrase co-opted by Marxist theologians), benevolence, painting. No need to excel in the arts, literature, or media production. Of course, it is an outworking of McGee's Calvinism speaking. I am of a Reformed background, and one of the queer issues is, if Grace is Irresistable, then why does one need to preach or teach, period? Why "polish brass" (exert human works and effort to improve the world) if all of Christ's will come to Him, and everyone else will be kindling, anyway.

The point also arises from "their eschatology – premillennial dispensationalism – ... a doctrine of earthly cultural and political defeat prior to Christ's Second Coming" as Gary North says. This is near and dear to my heart, as I came to the Lord during the Late Great Planet Earth craze. The biggest point of the Scofieldian rapture-fest was that when Jesus referred to the "budding of the fig tree", and "this generation" in Matthew 24, He was talking about The End of Days, and not the end of rebellious Israel, culminating in the Destruction of Jerusalem. Thus, since Israel was ceded its homeland in 1948, the Planet Earth had a clock ticking down to 1988, forty years, a Biblical generation. We were a-quiver with anticipation, since Jesus would return by 1988 !

Came New Years Day, 1989, and the pre-millennial crowd had some re-tooling to do. I mean, Jesus missed it! Clearly, the fault lay in faulty exegesis, but no-one recognized how faulty.

Having come from this background, I had a terrible problem: a serious lack of motivation. As a newly-married college senior in the late 70's, I wound up dropping out of college, at least in part because since Jesus could (or would likely) return next week / month / year, why should I bother to get a degree? Why polish brass? I was a convinced environmental studies major, with ideas for Saving The Planet, but why bother? I had to work for my family now, and be ready for the Lord's return. Why polish brass?


I have done alright for myself. I've grown up, learned to work, and repented of pre-mil follies. Remember- Jesus WAS GOING TO RETURN BY 1988. This is a Most Major Flaw. Those who taught thus, including myself, are guilty of false prophecy. Thankfully, this is not under the Mosaic covenant. The thing that amazes me is that the doctrine persists in the whole Left Behind foolishness, and across the airwaves. Granted, the Rapture and yo-yo return of Christ, with the Antichrist playing backup makes for a sexier story than History - Trumpet - Resurrection - Last Judgment, but if you want orthodoxy, right Biblical, historical Christian doctrine, Left Behind must be left behind. Such teaching is foreign to the Christian church until the 1800's, and last I heard, God takes a dim view of adding to or taking from His Word.

WHAT you believe has great impact on what you DO. Be certain that a popular teaching is truly a Godly one, and not just a convenient hook for best-sellers.

You may find this article interesting, as well.

Thursday, January 17, 2008


Vox Day is going to have a Surge. His new book, The Irrational Atheist, is out, and those who approve of courtesy (at least) to living authors will purchase it from Amazon on Saturday. It will help his numbers to increase, and cause his publisher to smile beneficently upon him. TIA, Saturday, Amazon. Maybe buy an extra one for your local library, and one to have on hand to give to stuffy physicists of your acquaintance.


Speaking of atheists, I find great comfort in anecdotal evidences of God, especially when sent as FW's in glurgey emails. The True Empirical Evidences are harder to find, but this just in:

Ron Paul is leading Rudy Giuliani by about a point in the South Carolina caucus. Hannity's Choice (that would be a GREAT name for a bathroom cleanser!) is actually trailing Ron Paul.

It may be an Ephemeral Evidence, but I'll take what I can get.


NEW! Paul is now 6% to Rudy's 3% in SC.
Heute Südcarolina. Morgen die Welt.

(Though the sentiment may be premature)

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Just to keep it all honest...

I have tried twice to leave this comment on Wayward Fundamentalist's Vox Day critique. It did not show up at first because of moderation, yet here it is at the end of the day, and he has a comment of his own there, and not mine.I'm not being cranky, but neither was I being snarky or abusive.

Here was my response:

You hate sounding judgmental? Then stop the Putting Forth of the Finger (check out the OT prophets about that.)

Actually, Jesus said that our loving one another was the sign that we are disciples. Rather than lovingly confronting a brother about his sin (? please reference the List of Forbidden Words from the Scriptures) you are indulging in third-person blog carping. That's kinda like gossip.

Flippin' - a common euphemism for a Reproductive Act.
Cripes - a common euphemism for "Christ".

Logs and motes, bro. Logs and motes.

If you cannot take mild correction, get out of the Blog-o-Verse tm.

Inflammatory Question of the Day:

If the hue and cry of the Protestant Reformation was "Sola scriptura", and of the Restoration Movement "Speak where the Bible speaks; be silent where it is silent",
then why do we have such elaborate mausoleums for the writings and opinions of our leaders?
Over at Vox's today, various and sundry have brought up Churchy things including:

Aren't Christians commanded to go to church? (I can't remember the verse--I realize this seems "convenient," but I really can't remember where the verse is located.)--Anonymous

It might be just be, but I doubt that a 503(c) LICENSED "non-profit" Chrianist Club is the "church" the Bible is referring to.--Josh

Let's look at some things God's Word says about Things Churchy.

In Acts 2, we find that when people believed and responded to Peter's proclamation of Jesus as Lord and Messiah, and Son of God, the Brash Apostle said

Act 2:36-47 (MKJV)
(36) Therefore let all the house of Israel know assuredly that God made this same Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Christ.
(37) And hearing this, they were stabbed in the heart, and said to Peter and to the other apostles, Men, brothers, what shall we do?
(38) Then Peter said to them, Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ to remission of sins, and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.
(39) For the promise is to you and to your children, and to all those afar off, as many as the Lord our God shall call.
(40) And with many other words he earnestly testified and exhorted, saying, Be saved from this perverse generation.
(41) Then those who gladly received his word were baptized. And the same day there were added about three thousand souls.
(42) And they were continuing steadfastly in the apostles' doctrine, and in fellowship and in the breaking of the loaves, and in prayers.
(43) And fear came on every soul. And many wonders and miracles took place through the apostles.
(44) And all who believed were together and had all things common.
(45) And they sold their possessions and goods and distributed them to all, according as anyone had need.
(46) And continuing with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they shared food with gladness and simplicity of heart,
(47) praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved.

The Jews asked what to do. Peter told them what to do. They did it. God added them to the church.

God added them to the church.

They did not "join". Their letter was not moved. The Membership Committee did not vote.
God added them to the church.

Then, AS the church, they met together. Now here is the sticky part. In the beginning, it is clear that they WANTED to meet together, as they got together daily at the Temple, and from house to house. This drive to fellowship was so strong, that out-of-towners didn't want to go home! It wasn't until later in Acts that the first day of the week (Sunday) meeting became apostolically normative, and even then, it was the irreducible minimum. Daily fellowship continued, at home, in the marketplace....

There is much mumphing about things like "501 (c) 3" churches that have "sold out" to Caesar for tax exempt status (and don't misunderstand, this kind of thing chaps me no end. Jesus did not say "Let not your right hand know what the other is doing...but don't forget to report it as a deduction!" The Gospel According to H&R Block includes its own - and perhaps only - reward.) Nonetheless, this kind of thing is NO reason to "forsake the assembling of yourselves together". Why? Because Jesus Himself told me! In a LETTER!

(Mrs P., put down that straitjacket! I have not joined Pat Robertson on the ramparts brandishing a broken grape juice bottle.)

Rev 2:18-29
(18) And to the angel of the church in Thyatira write: The Son of God, He who has His eyes like a flame of fire and His feet like burnished metal, says these things:
(19) I know your works and love and service and faith and your patience, and your works; and the last to be more than the first.
(20) But I have a few things against you because you allow that woman Jezebel to teach, she saying herself to be a prophetess, and to cause My servants to go astray, and to commit fornication, and to eat idol-sacrifices.
(21) And I gave her time that she might repent of her fornication, and she did not repent.
(22) Behold, I am throwing her into a bed, and those who commit adultery with her into great affliction, unless they repent of their deeds.
(23) And I will kill her children with death. And all the churches will know that I am He who searches the reins and hearts, and I will give to every one of you according to your works.
(24) But to you I say, and to the rest in Thyatira, as many as do not have this doctrine, and who have not known the depths of Satan, as they speak, I will put on you no other burden.
(25) But that which you have, hold fast until I come.
(26) And he who overcomes and keeps My works to the end, to him I will give power over the nations.
(27) And he will rule them with a rod of iron, as the vessels of a potter they will be broken to pieces, even as I received from My Father.
(28) And I will give him the Morning Star.
(29) He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

Please to note, that here was a congregation who had a woman in a teaching role, a "prophetess" (preface what you say with "Thus saith the Lord", and the rubes will believe anything) who was actually teaching to eat sacrificial meat from idol-worship, and teaching that fornication was acceptable worship.

She was the founder of the first lay ministry

Jesus makes it clear that the unrepentant would be Summarily Dealt With. Repentance is the key. Those who followed her folly were to repent. Those who had not sullied themselves, were to hold fast the faith.

Even though there were Heretics Most Vile in the congregation, Jesus did not say to the faithful: "Come out! There's a nice piece of property on the hill...go Start a New Work there." Discipline was also key. Since things had gone so far, He apparently stepped in to judge Jezzie and her hardcore followers. Jesus' promise to the faithful makes it clear: faithfulness to Christ and His teaching yields Authority.

Now, those who were faithful at Thyatira remained, even with the mess that was going on. In the church, the righteous are not called upon to leave if there are misdoings afoot. Rather, they are called upon to exercise Biblical Authority and sanction the false and misbehaving:

Titus 3:9-11
(9) But avoid foolish questions and genealogies and contentions, and strivings about the Law, for they are unprofitable and vain.
(10) After the first and second warning, reject a man of heresy,
(11) knowing that he who is such has been perverted, and sins, being self-condemned.

The "man of heresy", or "factious man", is one whose attitude is : "My way or the highway". He creates schisms, divisions in the Body of Christ. "Heresy" does not necessarily connote "false teaching" It can even mean having a divisive attitude over a point of truth.

2 Timothy 2:15-17
(15) Study earnestly to present yourself approved to God, a workman that does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the Word of Truth.
(16) But shun profane, vain babblings, for they will increase to more ungodliness.
(17) And their word will eat like a gangrene....

"Shun" is not a lightweight word. "Avoid like a plague carrier" is more like its meaning.

And everyone's favorite, the playa in Corinth:

1 Corinthians 5:1-13
(1) On the whole it is reported that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not even named among the nations, so as one to have his father's wife.
(2) And you are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, so that he who has done this deed may be taken from your midst.
(3) For as being absent in body but present in spirit, I indeed have judged already as though I were present concerning him who worked out this thing;
(4) in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, with my spirit; also, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ;
(5) to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
(6) Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump?
(7) Therefore purge out the old leaven so that you may be a new lump, as you are unleavened. For also Christ our Passover is sacrificed for us.
(8) Therefore let us keep the feast; not with old leaven, nor with the leaven of malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.
(9) I wrote to you in the letter not to associate intimately with fornicators;
(10) yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then you must go out of the world.
(11) But now I have written to you not to associate intimately, if any man called a brother and is either a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such a one not to eat.
(12) For what is it to me to also judge those who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside?
(13) But God judges those who are outside. Therefore put out from you the evil one.

To judge (or appraise) the actions of our brethren (contextually- in our own congregation)
is Biblical and necessary, and part of "submitting yourselves to one another in the fear of God. (Eph 5:21) " If Bro. Mike sees me heading toward trouble, it is his responsibility to warn me in love. If I persist in folly, then more drastic action is called for. Jesus called for proactivity in interpersonal relationships amongst brothers (and sisters).

Matthew 18:14-17
(14) Even so it is not the will of your Father in Heaven that one of these little ones should perish.
(15) But if your brother shall trespass against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.
(16) But if he will not hear you, take one or two more with you, so that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
(17) And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he neglects to hear the church, let him be to you as a heathen and a tax-collector.

In order for the church (ekklesia: assembly) to be effective, it has to be assembled!
We are commanded the following:

Heb 10:25 not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.

this written at a time when persecution was rampant. The church unassembled isn't the church. A car unassembled isn't a car, it is a pile of pieces. A person unassembled isn't a person, it is a pile of meat. The Body of Christ isn't the Body when it is unassembled, it is a bunch of Lone Rangers. We lose an important point in American Christendom: Jesus died for...the church.

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it,
Eph 5:26 that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word,
Eph 5:27 that He might present it to Himself as the glorious church, without spot or wrinkle or any such things, but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Eph 5:28 So men ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Eph 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord loves the church.
Eph 5:30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones.
Eph 5:31 "For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two of them shall be one flesh."
Eph 5:32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

Don't get hung up on the husband/wife thing in this discussion, here, beyond seeing that the passage is explicitly speaking of the church, and the church's relationship to Christ. Jesus is passionate in His love for the church, His people assembled. The Body imagery in 1st Corinthians makes it plain that I am not the church, and that you are not the church. WE are the church, assembled saints to do His will in the earth, and to serve one another to facilitate our accomplishing His commission. The faithful are to stay put, and handle the heretic, the factious, the Jezebel. God has provided the tools and instruction necessary to the task. "Quit you like men" does not mean "Quit".


Monday, January 14, 2008

I have a terrible suspicion.

The Ron Paul nutcases, like the Truthers, and the amazingly crude New Hampshire crowd are not true supporters, but are moles from other groups sent to destroy Paul's appeal.

Yeah, sometimes the Aardvark isn't the sharpest knife....It's just my inclination is to take people, oh, at their word. Some years back a friend tried to recruit the Aardvark to run for State House. One problem: I needed to run on the Democrat ticket, because "that was the only way for someone to get in". I couldn't do it, couldn't be a stealth Republican.

Though apparently the "R" party is filled with not-so-stealth Democrats.

So I guess we true Ron Paulites must redouble our efforts.

And kick the phonies where it hurts.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

I am...disturbed.

(The chorus of "AYYYYYY- mens" ceases its reverberation.)

I in my self-absorption check out "Sitemeter" to see Whom and Why.
The referring URL's are fascinating. Sometimes I get porn searches referred to my blog.
(I once used the word in an article, and there is the whole issue of "aardvarking".) Carpentry inquiries will stumble upon the "plumbline" thingie. But now I have discovered a Callow Pretender, an alley dweller with delusions of 'varkhood. Has the nerve to refer to himself as "Orycteropus Afer", an aardvark by any other name...

Aardvark Alley is the offending site, and I am forced to go and check it out. Doubtless I shall have to dodge dumpsters, alley cats, puddles of dumpster juice, and all manner of derelicts, but your Aardvark (*ahem* whose blog pre-dates this fellow's) will forge ahead with Wellies on to discover Just What's Going On!

Do you dare explore with me?

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Well, the Aardvark has learned the trick...take a popular pundit, and pwn him.
I got record hits Friday for my heartfelt Hannity entry. Thank you all. (Cynics take note: this was not a ploy to drive traffic to my site. I was really ticked at the fair and balanced approach the Hannitoad (and Fox in general) uses where Ron Paul is concerned.

Shifting aim a tad, your Aardvark has strong suspicions that an important personage in the Blog-o-Verse tm has significant personality issues.(I am waiting for the laughter to subside).

His online presence is less of a blog, and more of a Role-Playing Game. His stable of commentors remains surprisingly constant. A stable stable, as 'twere. A few newcomers arrive betimes, and very few are ever banned. He has pretensions...perhaps "delusions" is more apt, of being some sort of cyber-being, an intelligence uploaded to the net (Too many video games and bad SF, I'll wager). You know, like Freakazoid, but not fun. He dispenses his "wisdom" on current events, things political, religious or arcane, then sits back and watches while his collection of bloviators do their keyboarding thing, pro, con, and wildly off-topic.Sometimes he will re-enter the fray, stir the pot, then awa'.

Thing is...his commentariat, his "ilk", as they are called, remain too true to form, almost like set pieces in a play. Their roles are too defined. One is reliably conservative, another wildly libertarian, another can be depended upon to plumb the depths of scatology. Occasional "trolls" pop in to disturb the proceedings, like errant thoughts during an exam. PRECISELY like errant thoughts. This is what tipped me off.

This blogger's entire presentation seems a bit, ngaaaah, scripted. It is my belief that "Vox" is in fact the core writer, with each of the "ilk" being, not a person from across this broad land, but a shard, a splinter of his sad and injured personality. Vox Day IS his ilk. How ridiculous the names...there's even one called "Aardvark".

Waitaminute...I"M "Aardvark". Aardvark means ME.I'm certainly a discrete personality all my own. Of course I am. Just because MY blog started after "Vox Popoli" is no reason to think otherwise.

I need to go out and clear my head. Where did I put my Italian loafers...?

Friday, January 11, 2008

Sunsweet Commercial with Ray Bradbury!

This is my favorite ad ever.
It's by my hero, Stan Freberg.

Sean Hannity is a Loathsome Toad.

Hmmm...I may be scoffing. I'll sit out on the porch later.

I had a marvelous time yesterday. Then I came home to the Myrtle Beach Republican Q & A. We had to watch, as FOX had deigned to allow Ron Paul to take part in the debate -and even then, he had to demand to participate on the air.

It was a true Dog and Pony show, with each candidate doing Amusing Tricks, and Feats of Skill. At the end of the night, they couldn't let the answers speak for themselves. They trotted out pollster Luntz to question viewers as to why Fred Thompson was Teh Hotness.
Then Sockpuppet Hannity in his post-mortem had Luntz show the graph of viewer interest dropping to its nadir as Ron Paul spoke the truth. Then... then, Hannity and Colmes assured everyone that Dr, Congressman Paul had been invited to the post-game interviews, "but he refused, because he had another event to attend."

No, Sock-boy, Having an Event to Attend is not refusal. It is merely showing more interest in one's supporters than in giving a hostile nebbish opportunity to play verbal voodoo-doll with one.

OH! The text-in vote for "who won the debate" had Ron Paul at 35 or 36 percent, a good 10 points above the next best performer. Apparently the Paulistas hijacked the cell network, or stole the cellphones of the other candidates' followers, because Sean "Irish Need Not Apply" Hannity proclaimed that he DIDN'T win, in his opinion.

Sean Hannity's opinion trumps math. Someone call Stephen Hawking!!! This may finally answer the problem of the missing fraction of the Universe.

Seems it really is Vacuum.

And Vacuum sucks.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Play time for the Aardvark

Had a wonderful time today. For anyone who knows me at all, at all, you will be amazed that I did this. Loen and I went to Nashville to meet David Goodman.

I took the whole day, to travel to another state, to see someone I've never met.

Of course, sushi was involved.

What can I say? Musician, producer, jackleg economist, writer, artist, voice actor, family man, and that's the short list. He also evidently channels Peter Sellers, 'cos he has the BEST Dr. Strangelove impersonation I've ever heard. I dunno...I'm looking for a Medici lurking about.

We spoke of the Blog-o-Verse tm , the campaigns, t-shirts, music, gold, unreasoning virulent hatred of anime (I kid, I KID!), art, radio, the Theft of Signage, movies, family, children, the Whole State of Christ's Church - perhaps I use a broad brush - and how unnecessary bad language is.

And there was sushi! Ohhhhh, such sushi there was.

We ate at Fuji in Brentwood, off exit six-niner on I-65 north. Well recommended. They have an excellent lunch menu, with a broad selection of Japanese beers, as well, tho' we dod not partake of such. The green tea was amazingly good, with a note of sesame.

Then there were cigars.

David took us to Tobacco Road, a tobacconist extraordinaire. He bought himself and me each a CAO cigar. We stood around and enjoyed those for two hours. And talked. And laughed.

I haven't been as relaxed in ages.

A good time was had by all.

I am thankful.

On a side note, I was REALLY glad that ummmmmmm, this Vidad character didn't show up. I had seriously thought (this is so SILLY) that David was really Vidad Magoodn, but I having met David, am sure it just couldn't be. So I'm REAL glad that Vidad didn't crash the party.

'Course, It would have put those nagging suspicions to rest, had he done so. (Has anyone else noticed how much he resembles a Muppet?)

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

The Minister's Big "O"

One of the main things that Jesus had against churches in Asia Minor, referenced in chapters 2 & 3 of the book of Revelation, was the doctrine of the Nicolaitans (or Nicolaitanes). Now most self-serving doctrineers say that we don't know what the doctrine was, but that Jesus was ticked about it, whatever it was (much as folks can't figure out that Jesus was talking about the AD 70 destruction of Jerusalem in Matthew 24). Once again, grammar is not soft and gooey in the Bible. The language itself, the name itself has the meaning:

"The doctrine of the Nicolaitanes" is just what the word Nicolaitanes itself declares.


  1. In the book of the revelation of Jesus Christ, it is both "the deeds" and "the doctrine" of those in the two "churches" specified (Revelation 2:6, 15). The Lord demands repentance on the part of those who hold and practice these things and He threatens drastic punishment if they do not obey Him:

    "Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth," (Revelation 2:16).

  2. The name, Nicolaitanes, is a compound word which is composed of three Greek words, and which, because of being a proper noun, is transferred instead of being translated into English. As thus transferred, it is subject to the laws of Greek construction in regard to ellipsis, contraction and phonetics.
  3. The Greek words used in its construction are first: "Nikos," of which we use the English equivalents instead of the Greek letters, as we shall also of the other two. Nikos is defined as "a conquest; victory; triumph; the conquered; and by implication, dominancy over the defeated." Another transferred name in which this term is used is "Nicopolis," i.e., Niko - conquest; polis city. Hence, the city of conquest, or city of victory. Also "Andro" -- "nikos;" a man of conquest, of victory. The second term used in the name under consideration is "laos," -- people, another use of which is Nicolas, which is transferred and is composed of Nikoslaos and means one who is "victorious over the people," the letter "s" being, in both words, the nominative case ending, which is retained only at the end of the word to denote the case, while "a" short and "o" short are contracted into "a" long.


Also, a still further transferred use of "laos" is found in the name Lao(s)diceans, compounded with dike or dice as the Greek "k" is the equivalent English "c." Thus, in the name Laodiceans, we have laos -- "people" and dice la(ic)os means "laymen," of which laos is the root and stem, which selfsame word, with the "o" short contracted to "i", to which root and stem the plural definite article ton is joined to form laiton -- is a Greek phrase meaning "the laity." judgment, or vengeance, i.e., the people of my judgment, or of my vengeance. Also the Greek word

The third and last word entering into the construction of the proper name Nicolaitanes is ton, in which omega, the long "o", is contracted into long "a", thus making the word "tan" which is the genitive case plural in all the genders of the definite article the. Therefore, we have, without the legal Greek construction, the English hyphenated word Nickos-laoston, but which, with its lawful elisions and contractions, becomes the English name: Nicolaitanes, the full meaning of which, in its native tongue and in its ecclesiastical setting, is that the bishops and prelates of the Church have gained a triumphal victory or conquest over the laiton -- the laity -- until they have been compelled to submit to the arbitrary dominion of men who have become that thing which God hates: "Lords over God's heritage." -- J. H. Allen

So, the Nicolitanes are those who lord it over God's people, who set a clergy over a laity.

Now, it is self-evident that as Paul said, divisions MUST exist to determine who amongst us is "approved". No division is so evident as the divide between the "preacher", and everyone else in the congregation. Biblical church polity consists of a congregation, of whom are elders (bishops, overseers) who are men of proven character and maturity who handle the spiritual leadership and teaching), and deacons, who are also of proven character, and who handle many of the physical needs of the congregation. The elders are scripturally enjoined not to "lord it over" the flock.

Now, it is problematic where the whole "preacher" or "minister" leading a congregation came in (oops, I forgot about the whole priesthood thing), but it sure isn't biblical.

Now, our congregation was "preacherless" for almost two years, and many of the men, including your Aardvark, stepped up to the plate to handle the preaching and teaching. We had the most amazing togetherness develop.during that time. Elders, deacons, everyone was just in to serve God and one another. It was neat. There was more real growth in myself (and others) than I had experienced in years.

The big problem lies in the separation of the "preacher" from the rest of the congregation. There is...behavior...that sets the "minister" apart from everyone else. Nowhere does this otherness appear more pronounced than in the pulpit. The timbre of voice, the pronunciation. Some groups have schools that teach how a preacher should "sound" (adding a "huh" at the end of a phrase to show your passion: "I say unto you-UH, that we are going to have-HUH, a greaaaat revival-HUH,,,") Not our crowd, thankfully.

However, one practise that really rattles my cage is the use of archaisms, using language that makes it sound like Fanny Crosby was your nanny, and P.P.Bliss your headmaster. Beginning a phrase with a sonorous "O". O, how sweet to trust in Jesus. O, what trying times in which we live. Extending the "O" is good for emphasis: "OOOOOO, what a profound thought". I mean, no-one talks like that.in real life, and it only serves to increase the unreality of what passes for the Faith today.

It is axiomatic for many to "speak where God's word speaks, and be silent where it is silent". Allow me to add: "and speak normally when you do so". Preacherly airs do not endear, and serve to separate you from those to whom you wish to communicate the Word of Truth.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Brother, can you spare a dime ?

One of the most amusing things I have heard in awhile was an audio montage of all the jackass...er...Democrat candidates proclaiming their commitment to "change".

"Change...commitment to change...effect change...agents of change...". Like that.
It makes me want to go to the primary events and fling hands-ful of coins of varying denomination.

Have I said how bored I am with all of this?

"Change" covers a vast continuum. Climate change is the bogey du jour, and it is surely not a positive in most minds. Do they plan on enlarging their carbon footey-prints?
Do they wish to limit liberties even more than Fearless Leader has against the Terrace?
To paraphrase the ditzy alienette from the third season of Star Trek (the REAL one):

"Change and change...what is change?"

What worries me is the way the Great Unwashed accept the litany of change as carven in stone (pauses a beat...). "Our headaches are over...here comes Moses with the tablets!"

I am ready for change; change to the way things should be. The You Ess of Ay has fallen a great fall, with Lincoln putting the kibosh on states rights, through the predations of liberty through the 20th century, up to the swaddling cloth of Homeland Security. We need a return to Constitutional limits upon government, and to the vistas of personal liberty we are being denied today.

McCain has won New Hampshire. The Hilldebeast is looking likely.

Can one be bored and fearful at the same time?

I am clueless as to CraigsList. Loen found THIS jewel, though. While I disagree with the slant, it's still amazing.

I cn haz Bootz. O yes.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

You know, like this:

Thanks to Riatsila for showing how incompetent I am with Photoshop!
Go to this guy's eBay store to check out the cool old ad art.

Memory Lane is now HOV.only.

Toast'em Pop-Ups. Mmmmmmmmm....
Another in the long line of General Mills starters on a field of one that wound up as also-rans.

Here's a timeline.

1964 Schulze and Burch (a baking concern in Chicago) produced a new product that General Foods had invented, called a Toaster Pastry that was marketed under the Toast'em® Brand.

1971 Schulze and Burch acquired the Toast’em® brand from General Foods.

1997 Toast’em Pop-Ups Toaster Pastries were reformulated, creating a new proprietary flavor system resulting in a superior taste and a more moist filling.

So, the original wasn't good enough...they had to make them better. Problem is, they're not better. They are different, sweeter, with an indistinct flavor. "It's red and gooey. This must be STRAWBERRY!". Yummy.

Toast 'Ems started out as "Post Country Squares". Hear what Carolyn Wyman saith:

September 14,1964, Kellogg had a competitive toaster pastry called Pop-Tarts in stores....Kellogg won the Zeitgeist sweepstakes when the name Pop-Tarts, chosen for the way they popped out of the toaster, turned out to echo a pair of 1960s cultural movements, pop music and pop art. Post, by contrast, was stuck with Country Squares, a doubly corny name made all the worse since the Beatles had arrived in America less than two weeks before they hit the market. (Post later changed the name to Toast ’em Pop Ups.)

Amazing. Then, Nabisco came out with Toastettes, blah, blah. (They didn't even do the obvious and have a leggy Toastette dance around. You know, like the cigarette ads from the 50's.)

I want an Eggo....

Saturday, January 05, 2008

I am in consumer shock.

You are no doubt aware of Dollar General Stores. They are the yellow-signed stores that have been around forever, normally found in the older strip mall in town. You know, the one where your wife doesn't go to the salon. It's the store that you go to when you say "I don't want to go all the way to town to pick up a (insert missing consumer item here). I'll just pick summat up at Dollar General.". Well, kiddies, DolGenCorp is Making a Move on the retail scene. Their stores are popping up in tony little suburbs, and they have a new thing: Dollar General Market. Here is the corporate blurb:

The Dollar General Market is a convenient alternative to supercenter shopping. With everything our traditional store carries, as well as an expanded food section including fresh produce and meat, Dollar General Market fulfills many customers’ weekly shopping needs in one stop. In addition to convenience and value, the Dollar General Market is a fun place to shop with additional space for seasonal merchandise, electronics, magazines, home products and more! As of March 2, 2007, Dollar General operated 56 Dollar General Market stores.

Clearly, they need to update their website.

After our junket for Mexican last night, I wanted batteries, so I suggested that we go to the Dollar General Market. And we did.

It was big. It was clean. It was bright. The clerks were friendly and smiling. There was meat, and milk, and fresh strawberries, and Christmas stuff on clearance. (As Christmas is grimly determined to return the end of '08, The Dread Dormomoo and I availed ourselves of some shiny ornaments, and I felt good about it all.) There was even a section with actually useful home repair products like ballcocks, the tube-y, float-y contrivances that go inside your toilet tank; brand-name, too. Of course, the Blue Tarp, to patch things if a chunk of blue ice holes your roof.

They had COMPUTERS. And really nice laptops. At Dollar General. They even do service.
There were locked glass cases with hard drives, and USB hubs, and DVD writers. Oh my.

They DID have batteries, and remaindered anime DVD's, of which I scarfed up several. We sell them as a sideline at the conventions. The kids love buying $10 DVD's.

Dollar General Market is to Dollar General Store as Target is to Wal-mart. Almost.
I was surprised and amazed. I'm gonna go have a Toast'Em Pop-up for breakfast, now.

They had those, too.

Friday, January 04, 2008

The Eight-Track Tape of Dorian Gray

The Dread Dormomoo, Riatsila, and I went to our current favorite Mexican Restaurant, El Olmeca, in Ardmore, AL tonight. Their ASCAP-approved (it says so on the door!) soundtrack was doing its South of the Border best, when a tune from the Grooveyard of Forgotten Favorites popped up. Mas Que Nada by Sergio Mendes & Brasil '66.
Mmmmmmm, tasty. Lani Hall did the lead vocal. Tasty, indeed. She is the wife of Herb Alpert, and went on to a solo career.In 1983 she sang the eponymous main title for Never Say Never Again . She sounded the same as she did almost 20 years previously.
What pipes. Check out her stuff online. Amazing talent.

Oh, and the dinner was good, too!

Wow...nothing worse than an upset punditry! Huxterby and Le Nègre Magique winning in Iowa. Kind of amazing. I'm just bored with the whole thing. It's a washout if anyone but Ron Paul gets in. Yes, I really believe that.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

In the midst of the Iowa Caucus foofooraw, my youngest, Loen, is back in his room, cleaning up, with "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" playing on his PSP, hooked up to a room-filling but cheap home theater sound setup.

This is a 17-year-old with more than a modicum of taste. Your Aardvark is so proud.

OH!! Loen did this stop-motion animation last weekend. Check it out.


Wow! I'm three for three this year. You guys have no idea how much I love doing this blogging bit. Creativity. Juices flowing, getting my thoughts and all-important opinions out there. I've got to go for now, so as to sign up for more conventions for the year.

---------- but wait, there's MOAR! -----------------

It is the WORST CON YEAR EVER !!!!!!!!!

Here is some of what is out there:

It's got Star Trek. It's got Narutards. I guess one out of two ain't bad, but the COMBO... It's like buffalo chips with French Onion Dip.


Wow...Twiki... Local wrestling sensations...Thong Girl... Daniel Emery Taylor!!!

Actually, Thong Girl is an amusing concept, and REALLY tweaked the Keepers of Public Moraltude in Tennessee.
To borrow Jennie Breeden's tagline: It's not Satanic Porn...HONEST. It's just a tacky superheroine comic (and I mean tacky in the best possible kitschy way) that became a video series.

I'm really depressed.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Vidad Magoodn, he of the News Network, has made comment:
"Actually, I'm just envious that part of your job involves going to anime conventions. I hate anime... but that sounds like a LOT more fun than what I'm doing."

What's funny is that I turned to the Dread Dormomoo at Mile 301 on I-65N and asked
"I'm 50. Why do I keep doing this?"

Seriously. I love BEING where I am. It is the Getting There that is a pain. I dislike driving. It is such a waste of time. Thankfully, there are audiobooks, Bible CDs, and music.
So the question remains, beyond "Dude...she had PURPLE HAIR!!!".And the money.

There is the issue of ego strokes. At the end of a 3-day anime convention, there are scores of kids and adults wearing our shirts. Now to be clear, we sell OUR shirts. Our designs, our printing. These shirts are a part of us, not mere reselling of someone else's stuff. The Aardvarks actually have a fan base. This all adds up to major positive strokes.

By and large, the anime fans are a polite lot. Much that is positive in Japanese culture comes through in anime, especially the manners. Sez Ima Strawman of Omaha: "Oh, the kids are just copying the polite behavior they see." Hmmm...that sounds like learning to me. Besides, I'd rather have someone copying politesse than thuggery.

Vidad, why do you hate anime? Are you a thug? (Hey, I'm practicing political polemic, here.)

The retail shirt sales have exploded our business, and this is a good thing. It well and truly helps to make the con-to-con grind bearable.

There was a lovely Twilight Zone episode entitled "Kick the Can". The moral was "You're as old as you act". I'm 50, with reasonable health, a few aches here and there. In my HEAD, I'm still a teen. Early teen. I call men "Sir" who look like I do now. I've always called men who look like I do now "Sir". I collect toys. I sometimes do more than look at them. Being around these kids is a major boost. Maybe it's the aerosol hormone levels. Maybe our mental ages are consonant. I just know that I feel better talking with them, joking with them, listening to them. It's corny, but being with the youngers makes ME feel younger.

That's reason enough to drive 8 hours to a con.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008


This will be your Aardvark's
Loot Roster from the Christmas festivities.

* Pictured is the Fireflash model kit by Aoshima. The atomic jet liner first appeared in the Thunderbirds initial episode "Trapped in the Sky". This is awsome. Trust me.

* Looney Toons GOLDEN Collection: Volume 4

* Animaniacs Volume 1

* Fractured Flickers DVD

* A Dremel-type tool of Cunning Design

* A martini-mix set. Mmmmmm...libation-ey!

* "A Child's Christmas in Wales" DVD (Denholm Elliott)

* A glowing lava-rock looking Tiki head.

* A Tiki desk fountain. (See, I've got this serious Space-Age Bachelor Pad motif working in my office. It clashes a little with the toy collection)

* An uber pen set: fountain, biro, and mechanical pencil.

The stocking contained Jelly Babies, Reese bells, ThinkGeek Destruct Button, Walkers shortbread, assorted bungee-cord set (don't ask)...like that.

(The bungees immediately came in handy at Anime South, where we lassoed catgirls with them. No, really, we used 'em on the pop-up display)