Your Aardvark has had an early flu this year, and it has taken a full week out of his life.He is currently in the "someone you know and trust beat you about the chest with a Louisville Slugger" stage of the epizoodic. Yesterday, it was the "Insert wire bottle-brush into nostril, move to the sinuses, then straight into the lung, wiggle it around, then yank it out" stage of coughing.

You shall not be treated to further descriptions.

It appears to be God's Own Flu. No, the Almighty does not get a sniffle; rather that when He thought of the Concept of Flu, the Template so envisioned so closely matches what this one is experiencing. Nor does this Aardvark believe that God "sends us the flu", nor gives the baby cancer to teach us something. (Now, Beaver, did you Learn your Lesson?) For further thoughts, go HERE.

No, it's just that the perfection of the mechanism is so elegant that one must marvel at it, even while wrapping one's head in duct tape to keep it from exploding during the next coughing fit.
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For them wot thinks the Aardvark to be a Callow Pretender and Copycat THIS JUST IN:

He did not pick up emphatic Capitalization from "Pretty Lady". He is Well Read, and learned from the Classics. Not to say that PL is not classic, no. It seems a neat way to Emphasize the Point. Easily overdone, of course.

He is still struggling to shed himself of British variant spelling, which while far better than reDneck vareeunt speling, still tends to pall betimes.