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Sunday, October 30, 2005

I am a crank. Theologically speaking, I'm the equivalent of the guy who builds time machines in his basement out of aluminum pie-pans, twist-ties, and oatmeal boxes.

I am orthodox. I insist on Biblical authority for what we do, whether it is home life, or church polity.

I'm in trouble, because I have to call into question the whole "we have to hire a preacher" mindset at our congregation. It is more in line with the whole Western / Protestant construct, aided and abetted by the Bible College / Seminary complex, rather than with the New Testament model of church order.

I am SO cooked...!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


I keep trying to ignore the Miers nomination. You know, maybe it will just go away.
With our Stealth Democrat in the ovoid orifice, it has become painful to me to remember that I voted for him.
(I honest-to-God MISS Bill Clinton, but that's as may be...)
The Miers foofooraw has reminded me of one Important Thing.
The Most Important Thing in the World.
For all of the issues which could and need to be addressed, like immigration law, Ms. Myers is making the rounds of the Usual Suspects to deal with the Most Important Thing.

The sovereign Right of a woman to off her unborn offspring.

Never mind that it is the Law of the land, and will likely NEVER be overturned- at least as long as Churchians keep evangelising through the voting booth rather than through teaching and changing hearts. This charade keeps being played out.
I am SO-O-O-O bored.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

I am not a theologian. I tend to want to speak of Things Biblical in Terms Biblical. Where I miss the mark, feel free to point, utter a high-pitched "HA-HA" and call me a hypocrite.

I'll forgive you.

A majority of the problems extant in The Church at the Beginning of the 21st Century arise from NOT using the native terminology of the Scriptures, that is, we introduce extra-Biblical words and concepts in our argume...er, discussions.

The classic fool's errand of arguing God's Omni-whatever is rendered meaningless when we choose to speak in the Scripture's terms, rather than importing foreign philosophical language and concepts.

The current rage is discussing the Actual Biblical Sanction of Polygamy.

Sorry, can't find "Polygamy" in the Bible. Use Bible terms to discuss Bible things. You don't discuss Monopoly using the rules of Blackjack.

Start with Adam and Eve, One man, one woman.
Genesis 2:24, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

The New Testament, Jesus quotes Adam as authoritative:
Matthew 19:3-6, "The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."

I'm convinced.

You see, if we follow the Biblical pattern, you either have marriage, or marriage plus adultery.
One is good, more is bad.

We have dealt personally with a promulgator of multiple wives. The Dread Dormomoo has done an exhaustive study of the issue...not all of which has been yet posted. Here is the link.

Enjoy. And speak as God's Word speaks.

Monday, October 10, 2005

A Horrible Revelation of Heffalump Proportions

I was doing research on "late great planet earth/Left Behind-ism" for the class I teach on, ummm... creative doctrines. I ran across the foofooraw that Walt Hibbard
was involved in regarding his teaching the "heretical" idea that Jesus' "end-times"
teaching in Matthew 24 in fact refers to the destruction of Jerusalem in AD70, not some Rube Goldberg history yet-to-come contrivance.
The church leaders wanted to argue on the basis of the Creeds, and the Westminster Confession.
NOT the Word of God.
I must be the most naive guy around. I can't believe that such...such...APOSTASY
is so rampant in theologically conservative groups.
This is me, mourning.
Let us pray for the Whole State of Christ's Church.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Go ahead and ASK!

...and then they changed it to G-4

The Aardvark is by no means a geek. I mean, I get my kids to fix this-or-that with my computers- tho' Riatsila cannot set the wretched VCR either.
So the thesis is: I am not a geek. Big whoop. But I AM fascinated by Tech. I love it.
Best Buy is to me as the Sears tool department was to my sainted father-in-law.
Bud LOVED tools, not for the tool's sake, but for utility's sake. Happiness was a good new tool. I gave him some newfangled Alligator pliers as a cool Yule present, and he was a happy camper. You can use 'em one-handed!
Tech. It's great. Thus, when TechTV joined our Charter Cable lineup, I was pleased. Happy. Hugely entertained. They were based out of San Francisco, but were actually useful! The young AND the middle-aged mingling and working to birth us into a tech Paradise. Leo LaPorte was a greying computer whiz, wrote books, and knew his stuff. Here is his site:
The not-so-callow youts with whom he worked were wonders, too, but Leo was kinda MY age. Made me feel like I could do this, too. He's a Macboy, but nobody's perfekt.
Too bad. In 2004, G4 bought out TechTV, said "Move to LA."-you know, where All Things Happen- and Leo said "unh-unh".
'Bye, Leo.
Now, G4 has happenin' shows like "Attack of the Show" , in which callow youts whose attitudes can be summed up in the word "snot", make sage commentary on the pop-tech scene. >sigh<
This sad son-of-TechTV isn't so Tech anymore. They are adding a "new" show.
Remember Adam Carolla and Jimmy Kimmel?
Remember "The Man Show"?
G4 presents reruns of
"The Man Show".
Welcome to the Age of Tech!
I wonder if they'll review the Nano...

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I'm not down with this.

I am amazed at how widespread depression is. Not the "She broke up with me so I'll write some O, God, the Pain poetry, eat pizza and I'll feel all better" kind of down-ness. Real heart deadening, pull-the-covers-over-your-head for three days, not even the Resurrection could pull me out DEPRESSION. The kind that pharmacologists giggle about.
I've endured it.
The Dread Dormomoo has.
Two of my kids have / are.
Good friends have.
Even one I've never met.

The Aardvark is at an utter loss.
Here we are, in the most prosperous, anything-right-at-your-fingertips, right now,
society, with ANY belief system you could possibly imagine (and our brethren got bent out of shape at the "go to the church of your choice" thing), and every other guy and gal it seems is poppin' Paxil, or scarfing Celexa.

What is up with this?

NOTE: This is NOT a condemnation of prescription help. I was on Elavil for a year or so, until I had to choose to stop. It was either work or sleep. If ANY prescription drug has "May cause drowsiness" in the contraindications, simply substitute "Will induce coma" for me. Now I work, and self-medicate with the occasional brew and/or cigars. Recognise, too, that depression seems to have a shelf-life. Studies have shown that depressed study groups who variously do prescriptions, counseling, or nothing tend to improve in roughly the same period of time.

Now, I'm really at a loss to understand this phenomenon. Unless of course it's not new.
Check out a hymnal sometime. Some of the hymns of the 1800s bear the unmistakable mark of someone working through depression, or at least through menopausal angst. Those from the Depression era, well, they speak for themselves.

Depression is the pits. It is helpful to know that you are not alone in your experience. In this time, or an any.

Hebrews 4:14-16, "Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.".

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Sunday, October 02, 2005

I've had a rev-uh-LAY-shun!
Say BAY-bee.

But seriously, folks, if you should check out the parable of the talents,
Matthew 25:14-30
(Now, for the uninitiated, a talent is a monetary unit of weight.
Not an ability.
So get it straight.)
you will find a strange truth.

God is far happier if we try and miss it, than if we don't try at all.
Now, He would RATHER we succeed.
But He is the great Redeemer.

But there has to be something to redeem.
So even if all you can do is stick it in the bank, do it.
He can fix us, and will, if we give Him something to fix!
Here endeth the lesson.