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Thursday, November 30, 2006

We at Chez Aardvark were immersing ourselves in Fox Newsness. Dick Morris was being interviewed by the o'Rly.

Morris was not on camera, but was talking.

Loen listened and asked "Is that Susan Estrich?".

The Dread Dormomoo explained: "Dick Morris' voice is higher.".

We SO need to get rid of cable.
Yesterday, Vox opened discussion on prominent atheist Richard Dawkins' apparent desire to see eugenics born again in the New Millennium.

The debate devolved into one over the relative evil of slavery. One "tcw" (alleged atheist, certified troll) babbled on about Judaism's and the Christian faith's relative evil because God, Moses, Jesus nor Paul NEVER said "Thou shalt not do slavery."

I must say, I believe I sparkled in the debate.

Well, a little, maybe.

Do I condone slavery? No.
Do I enjoy a good argument. Mmmmmm, maybe.
Can I tolerate fatuous pseudo-debaters with no reading comprehension?


Monday, November 27, 2006

If you have a Seinfeld fan in your life...


Now, the Aardvark is not a fan of Seinfeld...actually he is not a fan of George, who evokes the same response he used to get watching Barney Fife: to put his foot through the television box screen.

But this Aardvark is even LESS of a fan of the race-baiting posturing of the irReverend Jesse Jackson, who is calling for a boycott of that DVD release...even though Michael Richards took the trouble to appear on Jackson's radio rant show. Rather a stab in the back, wot?

Maybe it's REALLY because Seinfeld's a Hymie. (Google "Jesse Jackson and Hymie". Don't lambast the humble Aardvark.)

So buy the DVD, already.

The Dread Dormomoo said it best:
"Jesse Jackson picks up the stuff that's hit the fan,
and throws it back in!"

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Meet Possum Kitty

We are cat people. We currently have ten outdoor cats, two of whom were abandoned by neighbors who moved, and figured they would be cared for by someone...I guess. We have NO mice.

But we have an eleventh, now. He is Possum Kitty. He shows up, enjoys the cat food, and toddles off. Tonight he showed up, and discovered some un-gnawed turkey bones. Loen was 2 feet or less from PK when he took this shot. Very tame, or at least characteristically possum-stupid.

We like Possum Kitty. We do not pet him, though. He has sharp teeth, and we are not possum-stupid.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The view from Tinfoil Hat mountain...

The Dread Dormomoo (She In Whose Mouth Butter Would Not Melt), and Your Humble Aardvark are STILL in the throes of whatever bug is doin' the asexual Nasty in our persons. It is not debilitating any more...just draining. Energy levels remain low (as does productivity) and this continual zonking, trying to dislodge...errrrr...STUFF from one's head begins to get old.

Has gotten old.

The DD mused this morning, and considered the idea that maybe the Givemint is putting these bugs and viri out amongst the Peepul to invigorate the National Immune System with an eye toward whatever microbial nasties are coming down the pike, either natural, or a gift from our "Terrace" friends. If a few elderly or infirm were to snuff it, well you can't make an omelette...

Hey, it would be For Our Own Good....

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Poor Kramer.

I have one thing to say.

Who cares?

Michael Richards was doing his bit onstage. People had paid to see him, and to hear his comedic stylings.

They did not go to hear two bruvvahs mouth off. Frankly, them wot paid for tickets should have dealt with the hecklers, unless it was about a gladiatorial thing. "Let's see Kramer cut 'em off at the knees!"

Since the newsfeeds did not deem us able to withstand the verbal onslaught, I merely heard a series of beeps, but apparently verbal blood was shed. Bigoted blood, not racist.

The true sadness was seeing Seinfeld go all PC about it, as though having worked with Richards years ago might tar him with the same brush. The sight of Jerry and David Letterman bleeding smug Earnestness and Concern all over their chairs while Richards stumbled through his "I'm sorries" was far more sickening to me.

Of course, it's hard for me to get worked up over beeps.

Two guys heckled a comic from the audience. He responded with comments on their obvious part of the gene pool. Apparently responded in the extreme. With ANGER.
With non-PC words.

The hecklers feelings may have been hurt. Maybe they'll shut up next time.
Maybe Richards will do Anger Management.

Maybe I'll learn to care.

Sunday, November 19, 2006


I need to know that I am not hallucinating.
I had a toy as a child; a car that walked up walls. You pulled a string, which wound the spring, which caused a "wheel" of 5-or-6 suction cups to rachet with sufficient speed and force so as to enable the "car" to go up the wall.

It was called Mr. Joggy, I believe.
I can find NO mention of it online.

Has anyone heard of it?

EDIT: It's Mr. Joggi . Great to see all you folks remembering this little treasure.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

I took another quiz.
I was born in Memphis.
Raised in SC.
Live now in Alabamastan.

And I really talk like this.

What American accent do you have?
Your Result: The Northeast

Judging by how you talk you are probably from north Jersey, New York City, Connecticut or Rhode Island. Chances are, if you are from New York City (and not those other places) people would probably be able to tell if they actually heard you speak.

The Inland North
The Midland
The South
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have?
Take More Quizzes

When I was a babe-in-arms, we lived on Houston Street in NYC, right across from a Franciscan Brother house...they actually babysat me. Apparently that was when the soundtrack got laid down. I've never caught a case of Magnolia Mouth.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The Aardvark is amused beyond words.

Your EQ is 133

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Staff Reporter of some Mobile rag writes:
Under the new system, voters use pens to fill out paper ballots. To write in a candidate, all they have to do is fill in the "write-in" bubble and scribble whatever name comes to mind.

Allow me to weep bitter tears...

The (17,733) write-ins wreaked havoc on election night efficiency and delayed returns for hours, as poll workers have to copy every real name submitted onto a separate piece of paper, according to Roxann Dyess, election coordinator for the Mobile County Probate Court.

"That can be very tedious," she said.

I mourn...I bleed...

It sounds to me that the system is working, and that the Peee-pul, however ineffectually, Have Spoken. If the two-headed snake that serves as Party Politics in Alabamastan were effectual, there would be no need for write-ins, but the Peee-pul have figgered out that it's really one critter masquerading as two, and shutting out other parties from the game.

Loretta Nall opines in her platform:

Proposal: Ditch all the anti-competitive ballot access laws so the Republicans and
Democrats have to run with the Black Panther, Green, Libertarian, Natural Law, Reform, Constitution and other parties. Then at least elections will convey some information about the electorate.

Not a bad idea. Would there be crackpot parties? Certainly, always have, always will. It would be refreshing and fair to let everyone on the playground, not just the two bullies.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Your Aardvark has had an early flu this year, and it has taken a full week out of his life.He is currently in the "someone you know and trust beat you about the chest with a Louisville Slugger" stage of the epizoodic. Yesterday, it was the "Insert wire bottle-brush into nostril, move to the sinuses, then straight into the lung, wiggle it around, then yank it out" stage of coughing.

You shall not be treated to further descriptions.

It appears to be God's Own Flu. No, the Almighty does not get a sniffle; rather that when He thought of the Concept of Flu, the Template so envisioned so closely matches what this one is experiencing. Nor does this Aardvark believe that God "sends us the flu", nor gives the baby cancer to teach us something. (Now, Beaver, did you Learn your Lesson?) For further thoughts, go HERE.

No, it's just that the perfection of the mechanism is so elegant that one must marvel at it, even while wrapping one's head in duct tape to keep it from exploding during the next coughing fit.

For them wot thinks the Aardvark to be a Callow Pretender and Copycat THIS JUST IN:

He did not pick up emphatic Capitalization from "Pretty Lady". He is Well Read, and learned from the Classics. Not to say that PL is not classic, no. It seems a neat way to Emphasize the Point. Easily overdone, of course.

He is still struggling to shed himself of British variant spelling, which while far better than reDneck vareeunt speling, still tends to pall betimes.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Read this.


Pretty Lady: The Etiquette of Eating

Raisin Brioche...........I HUNGER!!!!
Pretty Lady Weighs In, And Slaps My Sassy Mouth,
Wherein We Discover My Bad Behaviour Got Me What I Wanted

For them wot ignores the "comments" section I have SO obligingly provided, I post a bit from my election night hissy fit.

prettylady said...

I voted for gridlock! I still have hopes that I won!

Seriously, darling, have you been looking at the Republican's financial stats, lately? I hear a wee rumour that they've gone a teensy bit over-budget.

And when I read Nancy Pelosi's off-the-cuff little agenda, she did mention a few details regarding 'fiscal responsibility' and the like. As well as addressing those constitutional violations of habeas corpus, and 9/11 commission recommendations, and realistically reassessing our mandate to Bring Democracy to Murderous Savages, Hang The Cost.

Ever the eternal optimist, I.


To which I winningly reply:

The Aardvark said...

Absolutement! I have lived in tooth-grinding frustration over the "can't tell who from whom" these past years.
(See the shards!)

Lookit, this was a tantrum, not a reasoned political treatise.

As to fiscal responsibility from the Dems, well, the major (alleged) philosophical difference between the two parties is that the Dems see Government as the source of all succour and aid for whatever ill you wish to name. The classic repub view is that the private sector can and should provide the aid and answers. This, of course, is far closer to the Founders' Constitutional intent. As with anything from the Christian faith to putting together a gas grill, if you deviate from the instructions, you are in for mischief!

Given the current state of the givemint, it is clear that no-one has learned to read.

We are on the same page, Dear Heart, re: the "Patriot" act, as well as the other "Bring Democracy to Murderous Savages, Hang The Cost" things. I do not believe that Vox overstates the issue.


Yes, this is a cheap way to do a post, but it was worthy of sharing, and 'sides, I have the epizoodic. There is a nasty virus using me as it's reproductive organs, and I don't appreciate it a bit.

I feel so USED.

...and what I wanted?



Wednesday, November 08, 2006


You have voted in a majority that has PROMISED to

I salute you,

I wish that there was an f-bomb level
word for exponential abject and willful
'cos I would use it right now.

At you, idiots.

The only hope we have is that the Repubs
retain the Senate.
Gridlock is a GOOD thing.
Maybe Wubble-yu will learn the word

Sleep well, schlemiels.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Here we go again...

Ted Haggard,prexy of the "National Association of Evangelicals", and "Senior Pastor" of his congregation is in a mess, but this Aardvark is not gonna pile on with the rest of the finger-pointers and punditry-mongers. (Please do not bring the "furry" CSI episode to mind. I do not own a plush aardvark suit.)

Ummmm....what is a "Senior Pastor"? Perhaps I should restate that. Where in the Christian Faith Owners Manual is there a critter called a "Senior Pastor"?

Not there.

So, the "New Life Church (A Family Ministry Center)" has a church leadership system not quite according to Hoyle -and by "Hoyle" I mean God's Word, inspired by the Holy Spirit.

Then there is Haggard's leadership of a "Christian" organisation, the National Association of Evangelicals. Sorry, but I can't find THAT in the Bible, either. (Ooooh, you can't find the National Rifle Association in there, either.) That's NOT the issue. The Bible is, or should be, the sole rule of Faith and Practise for things Churchy. And there's the rub, because most of the problems in this situation are directly due to the pigheaded refusal to follow Biblical guidelines for Things Christian.

Jesus did not die for the National Association of Evangelicals, nor for the Billy Graham Association, nor even for CBN. According to God's word, Jesus died for one "organisation".

  • Ephesians 1:20-23, " Which he wrought in Christ, when he raised him from the dead, and set him at his own right hand in the heavenly places, Far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come: And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the church, Which is his body, the fulness of him that filleth all in all."
  • Ephesians 5:25-27, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish."
There is more, and I encourage you seek it out.
The church is the ONLY "Christian" organisation authorised and governed by God's Word.
Apparently God believes that the church is sufficient to accomplish His purpose without the addition of multitudes of "para-church" organisations to be His Little Helpers.

When you abrogate God's Rules on a thing, you remove yourself from his authority, power and protection.

And that is just like wearing a red shirt on Star Trek.

Monday, November 06, 2006

The Aardvark sez:

Vote what is RIGHT.

Not right-wing.
...and maybe, try praying before you vote.
Read your Bible. Maybe a part you haven't underlined.
Saddam. Hang 'im high.

Pope. Read your Bible.

Europe. Go angst yourselves. Make an avant-garde film.

Anonymous: Get a life. Get a job. Get over it.
I know who you are. You need to deal with whomever you perceive did you wrong, not take cowardly pot-shots on a third-rate blog.

I would seriously recommend you find an honest-to-God Bible-believing church, get discipled, and deal with forgiveness. Jesus REALLY loves you, and wants GOOD things for you, and part of that is getting the hurt in your life dealt with. I can steer you to one if you wish, or you can look, but wallowing in a venomous pool of anger and pain is only hurting YOU. There are lots of people on the Net that only find amusement in it.