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Friday, June 30, 2006

Johnny D Symon said...

Lest anyone missed his comment on yesterday's entry, here it is:

I couldn't help but notice the ad you placed to help people like myself learn English. It was a nice try, but you full well know that I gave up tryin' years ago. My lingo is also a mighty difficult thing to pick up and learn so I'm the only guy who understands myself.

Now if you'd offered me to learn angling instead, you'd still be wasting your time. I've been gone fishin' for years and still I'm hopin' for the big one. For me a course on cooking would do the job. I'm a keen viewer of TV cooking shows and I watch 'em all over the world. The ones in Morocco have one main ingredient between them all, and that thing is butter! You know, in England they have apple festivals, in Georgia it's watermelon, and Holland it's tulips. They actually have a tulip festival ... interested? No, neither am I. I'd rather eat glass.

But in Morocco in the spring, it's the national festival of butter! They love that stuff so much they preserve some of it in stoneware jars full of salt, and covered with water ... I've eaten vintage butter that's over 6 years old, and you know what? It most likely tastes exactly like John Kerry's boxer shorts. I once found a pair of his underwear in a place called the Land of Nam. In actual fact I found quite a few pairs of Calvin Kerry's lying around in that country, but this pair was different; They smelt like vintage butter, but were full of little holes, with about 2 ounce worth of Uncle Bens stuck in there. Now what do you think caused that?

But still on the thoughts of cookery; I heard a Spanish chef, called Karlos Arguinano, tell the following story a few months back. He said, “A while back I set about doin' some cooking and the recipe required a few fresh apples. Out in the garden I happen to have a big apple tree and I knew there were some good ones ready for pickin'. But as I arrived, one big ripe red apple came loose and fell with a thud to the ground, then the strangest thing happened. I heard all the other apples, still hanging up on the tree, burst into loud laughter. And if that wasn't strange enough, the fall guy on the ground shouted up, 'What are you all laughing at. You're all immature!'”

He told me this as well; In his house he keeps a pet parrot, and one day when he opened his window the old bird figured it time to escape, so out it flew and settled in that self-same apple tree ... right at the top. Now it just happened to be walkabout time for the mentally infirm people who stayed in the asylum across from his house. So he called three of them over and offered them ten euros apiece if they could fetch old Anton the parrot down off the tree. So they headed out to his garden, and he set to work in the kitchen. The time was about 10 a m ...

By 4:30 he suddenly remembered about the round-haircuts, and wondered what was happening. So he headed on out, and there they still were, sitting down under that big old tree, staring at the parrot above. He asked them what was taking them so long to go get the bird, and here's what they said, “We can't bring it down just yet, 'cos it's still green!”

Now I bet you're thinking to yourself, “Man, that was a poor idea of mine, to write Johnny D and ask him to communicate something.” And I fully admit my writing ability is not quite the quality and standard of Al Gores “Earth In The Balance” fairy tale, but the fact is, I like people to laugh at my writing, whereas Al is plainly unaware that he's a high falutin' humorless crud-boy, and besides he and John Kerry, I'm told, share each others underwear.

In fact I've been told even further, that they go as far as wearing the same pair at the same time. Now who told me this? You may be asking yourself. Why, it was a big old parrot in a tree, called Anton. And how would he know this? You may further be asking yourself? And the answer is ... He don't. He's too green and immature to know anything of any worth! But I figure that when two monumental figures get together, like Kerrygore, even the wildest things may be possible ... perhaps they'll occur soon ... 2008 perhaps?

Have fun, Johnny D

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

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Monday, June 26, 2006

OK...when did TRIO buy out the SciFi channel?

There is the most amazingly, disturbingly just-this-side-of soft-core gay movie on.

Common-type aquatic leeches grow to large size after feeding on steroid-laced blood of a number of college endurance swimmers, and then the nasty creatures lay siege to the entire campus for more.

HAH! I just read the comments on IMDB, and I am NOT hallucinating.
Hunky guys in swim suits or briefs, posing cheesecake-style. Just bizarre.
I guess there must be a market. Nature abhors a vacuum.
It was just...jarring to see the long, lingering camera shots. I'm used to seeing such with gals.

I think I'll check out Cartoon Network.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Here is something I want to try...sharing the odd bits I post here and there, with links to provide context.
I am sufficiently enamored with my own writing that I assume others are as well, so here is a sampling:

I believe that the "love" in question is the kittens, puppies, unicorns and rainbows feel-good-ism prevalent today, a sloppy agape that is all about feeling rather than belief, emotion rather than rational thought. The love Jesus displayed, from raising a dead child to driving the hucksters out of the Temple with whips, is far removed from the treacly oozing that passes for love in the minds of those who own- at best- a caricature of Christian faith.
Those who believe in such, please pray for me. I speak tomorrow night, and my heart is heavy for "the whole state of Christ's church. I am desparate to say precisely what I should.
A comment of mine at Vox's

Also from Vox's

Is there a single Christian here that will say their conception of Christian morality is a persistant burden to them personally? Somehow I doubt it. --Mike WC

I'll stand up to that one! I love pretty. I adore beautiful women. I enjoy seeing them. (One thing is seeing to it that when I See Pretty, it does not move on to thoughts of lust, or in the vulgar tongue- "I'd hit that!".) I am not the best looking, but my humor and charm overcome that, and were I of the sort to do so, I would have no trouble being well-supplied with...the willing.
In my darker moments, I think that on my deathbed, should my vision darken, and I see on the Other Side...nothing, no Light, no tunnel, not even an "Other Side", my last coherent thought as my neurons disconnect will be- "Man, I sure missed a lot of fun...". But this is in my darker moments, which I think that most harbor from time to time. When I am walking in the Light (read John's first letter) I am confident of Jesus' promise, and that His commands to me are for my good. So I control my thoughts, do not gawk at overt displays of pulchritude, and make a covenant with my eyes, as it were. My wife is precious to me, and the covenant I made with her is not a light thing.

So yes, I am burdened by the command. It restrains me from What I Would Like. Compared to the burden Jesus took from me....

I find it a fair trade

Just some odd bits. Enjoy!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

The Dread Dormomoo Speaks:

Vox is having another pudding-stirring fest at his blog. Seems there are those who reject the idea of absolutes.

The D.D. had this to say:

The only way to say that there are no absolutes is to be absolutely sure that there aren't any.

Oscar Wilde, proceed to tremble...

I recently bought the first season of The Wild, Wild West on DVD, and now I am forced to make an absolute statement: The character of Dr. Miguelito Loveless as portrayed by Michael Dunn (see picture above) is the most finely-drawn villain in TV history. I will brook no debate on this (awwww c'mon, be obstreperous, DEBATE!). The combination of genius, malice, and the childlike innocence he often displayed was a potent dramatic mix. There were ten Dr. Loveless episodes in all, and they are surely the best of the series. His duets with "Antoinette" (Phoebe Dorin, his stage partner off TWWW) were always a delight, and memorable. "The Night of the Flying Pie Plate" from season two, with the lovely Leslie Parrish as a space chick was also memorable. Quite.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

WOW! What beastly weather. Our visit to Florida was akin to breathing soup, and I believed that it followed us home. I had to leave the shop today and crash in our very cool bedroom for an hour or so. We had a new central unit installed recently, and am minded to rent my home out as a meat locker. Very efficient cooling.

Just so it is clear, despite my ramblings of late, I do understand that
A is not equal to not A.

Where Jesus says "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no-one comes to the Father except by me.", is not a statement equivalent to: "It doesn't matter what you believe...it's all just different roads to the Same Destination".

Are we clear?

However, Truth is Truth, whether stated in Aramaic, Sanskrit, or Serbo-Croatian. I do not fear being taught at the feet of Sun-Tzu, say. I must measure what is said against the Plumbline of the word of God.

Eat the meat, spit out the bones.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Why is NOTHING good enough?

Got back from Florida last night. Drove almost all the way, and now I suffer from car lag.


Thus I was away from home on Pater's Day. Got home and the Dread Dormomoo and Loen had schemed about a Present. Certainly one is Not Required, but it sure is nice to get one. They had thought about something that I had not EVEN considered, but is practically de rigeur for at least one Fathers Day remembrance.

A grill. A propane grill. A shiny stainless and black grill.

I may not know art, but I know what I like!

We had steaks grilled tonight, with mine own hand, on mine own grill.


HoukoCon was astounding. It was held at the Port St. Lucie Community Center...also known as Geezerville. This tiny little first-year con was VERY well done, Tiffany and crew worked their hearts out, sweat, blood, angst, and all. Well played! As far as our shirt sales, well, we started doing Sci-Fi cons in 1980. I NEVER did as well at one of those as I did at this little Florida anime convention. Amazing.
Met Brian Clevinger, the master-mind of 8-bit Theater. An exceedingly entertaining guy. Go buy his book, Nuklear Age.

Trust the Aardvark. Buy the book, then some Ace bandages to wrap your ribs, 'cos if you don't, you will hurt yourself laughing. Out loud. In public. And people will look at you. Oh such looks you will get.

And it will all be worth it.

Why is nothing good enough, then?
I habitually drive the speed limit. Precisely. You know, the posted speed limit, with signs and everything?
Consequently, 'most everyone passes me.
Why isn't the speed limit good enough? It puzzles me.
If they raised the limit from 70 to 80, these people would drive 90 mph.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Riatsila and I are headed to HoukoCon in Port St. Lucie, FL this weekend. (We leave earlye in the mornynge). Pray a safe and successful trip, please. We are in our "Christmas season" business-wise, so I am not able to blog as often, or in the depth which I would wish to. Bear with me, and there shall be more 'varky goodness coming to you.


Monday, June 12, 2006


Wow! That was both barrels yesterday. It's REALLY not a need for meds...really. It just frustrates me when someting simple gets turned into a Broadway production...you know, like watching Martha Stewart make iced tea.
Hi, Johnny! Keep us all posted as to the news in Europe, your actually being there and all! I hope that you and yours are well.
Hi, I'm Weatherly, and I'm a fanboy. "Hi, Weatherly"
I need a cheap light grey or beige suit to do a costume. I shan't say whom it shall be, but I will scour the thrift shops (oooooh, that sounds hygienic!) in search.

There is more to come, but the day is brighter than the night, and I have much to do.
Have a grand week!

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Happy New Week!
Those of us who do not keel over, or breathe our last in the night, will enjoy it, I'm sure! This is good.
"There is much anger in this one."

OK, I give the churches in our neck of the woods twenty years, tops.
There is a move toward apostasy that boggles the mind, and issues like The Da Vinci Code serve only to obfuscate the true problems. "Look at the monkey!!"
God's Word provides a clear pattern for the church to follow. How may I be saved? There is
Scriptural teaching to even hint that you "pray this prayer and ask Jeeee-zus into your heart".
To labor the point:

The Apostle Peter gave the steps in Acts 2:
Repent (this pre-supposes belief in Jesus as God's son, and thus obeying him as Lord),
Be baptised for the remission of your sins,
You will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

That's it. Peter delivered the Keys to the Kingdom. If people can't even go through the door correctly, well, are they even in?

Um, another thing is a propensity to Preach the Problem.
"Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage" f'rinstance.
Jesus spoke VERY BRIEFLY on adultery, and divorce, and as to the big "A", said

Most of ALL the rest of his teaching is applicable to having a very happy marriage and family.
Why then do we spend reams of paper to write books on "Marriage-Divorce-and Remarriage", that damned triad. This makes an appearance of equivalence. Divorce is an aberration, and should be taught as such. This "method" of teaching has gone on for at least two generations, and the fruit we reap? More divorces in the church.

My head wants to explode. I am SO angry.
So VERY angry at the cretinous issues-oriented teaching that has brought us on par with the World.

Thank God I get to preach in two weeks. And I am NOT a brimstone kinda guy.
If I can figger it out, I'll post an MP3.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

OK. On Tuesdae, the People of Alabama spoke. If you listened closely, you could hear the drooling.
"Buffalo" Bob Riley ('cos he is so full of Bravo-Sierra) is the Repub. gubernatorial candidate. The proven and obvious liar and tax-lover is back for Round Two. "I Love Lucy" Baxley is the Dem goober.

I am SO voting for the Libertarian gal, Loretta Nall.
Alas, it will be a write-in, as she failed to get enough sigs to get on the ballot. Spent too much time stumping for Cannabis Culture, and being droll about her superstructure. For my money, though, better a well-built hophead than a liar. Or maybe I just don't care anymore. Every putatively "Christian" candidate has let me down. Every one. The system Does Not Work. Whilst I cannot in good conscience NOT vote, I waver perilously close to Ian McLeod's non-voting stance. At least my vote buys me the right to kvetch, though.

Seriously, Mr. Moral Majority, Ms. Christian Coalition, what has been accomplished to further your Godly aganda? Hmmmmmmm? I love how Roe was overturned. And remember when Congress passed the Protection of Marriage Act? That was AWESOME! A Christmas Tree in every school cafetorium? Sweet!
Figure it out. It's not working. Do something else, like pray, maybe, or teach the Gospel to these guys, so they will actually have an objective base for their actions, other than "Will this get me re-electd?".

This is NOT gonna be a fun political season. Heaven knows what the Repubs will field for '08.
It makes me a sa-a-a-a-d panda.
Or an angsty Aardvark.

Monday, June 05, 2006

The Tao of the Happy Hunters

Some years back, Charles and Frances Hunter took the hinterlands of Charismania by storm with the Method.
A learnable, duplicatable method...of healing. The Method was arrived at with the help of a Christian chiropractor. In practise it was a Holy Ghost spinal adjustment in Jesus' name. Now, I am a recipient of blessing from this practise. My back was verifiably healed by this, and I have prayed for people thusly and seen amazing improvement in them (I say this to God's glory, and not to do a Pharisee dance.) I shall not discuss the "leg-lengthening" hobby indulged in by some.

The positive aspect of this, and some of Kenneth Copeland's teaching, is that it teaches one to pray proactively, as Jesus did. Not "Please, God, please maybe make Johnny better, and return him to a reasonable portion of health" weenie whining, but rather taking authority by Jesus' authority ("in Jesus' name" is not a kabbalistic formula. Rather it is proclaiming that as a child of God, you have the Very Authority of God's Son Jesus. Only if you aren't, you don't. Ask the sons of Sceva.) In Jesus' name, BE HEALED! Spine, line up. Glands, work right. Storm, be muzzled. Demon, come out.

Like that.

On the flip side, despite the popular opinions about, Jesus is not our Lord and Personal Butler. We cannot grasp the bell-pull and proclaim "Parker, get out the Rolls Royce.". Ultimately it is the will of God that prevails, but He is gracious in that we have the opportunity to let Abba (Daddy) know our druthers.
Good King Hezekiah complained of his impending death, and God heard him, and granted him more years. The bad news is that he lived to father ....

Manasseh was twelve years old when he began to reign, and reigned fifty and five years in Jerusalem. And his mother's name was Hephzibah.
And he did that which was evil in the sight of the LORD, after the abominations of the heathen, whom the LORD cast out before the children of Israel.
For he built up again the high places which Hezekiah his father had destroyed; and he reared up altars for Baal, and made a grove, as did Ahab king of Israel; and worshipped all the host of heaven, and served them.
And he built altars in the house of the LORD, of which the LORD said, In Jerusalem will I put my name.
And he built altars for all the host of heaven in the two courts of the house of the LORD.
And he made his son pass through the fire, and observed times, and used enchantments, and dealt with familiar spirits and wizards: he wrought much wickedness in the sight of the LORD, to provoke him to anger.
And he set a graven image of the grove that he had made in the house, of which the LORD said to David, and to Solomon his son, In this house, and in Jerusalem, which I have chosen out of all tribes of Israel, will I put my name for ever:
Neither will I make the feet of Israel move any more out of the land which I gave their fathers; only if they will observe to do according to all that I have commanded them, and according to all the law that my servant Moses commanded them.
But they hearkened not: and Manasseh seduced them to do more evil than did the nations whom the LORD destroyed before the children of Israel. (2 Kings 21:1-9)

So be careful what you pray for.

The thing is, as far as the practise goes, Julian did much the same as the Method, without the spiritual element, and it worked. He did it with grace, and out of concern for my well-being. May he have returned a hundred-fold the blessing he was to me. In my understanding, healing and blessing come from God. I can recall of NO healing coming from Satan, or Baal, or the Asherah, or from Molech's outstretched arms.
Thank God, and his Son, for every good and perfect gift.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Thanks Julian!

For years, in Flandersville, I resisted with gusto the predations of The East on the pristine purity of Western Culture. (P.L., you may get up off of the floor, now. Such rolling is Not Dignified.)
OK, Julian is...eclectic. Out of the blue, he started showing me a few self-defence moves, like Snake Climbs Branch. Then he took an appraising look at me, and proceeded to induce pain.

I had almost a week of not being able to print because of a thumb injury. Had NO idea what happened, it just started hurting. A lot. He applied pressure in the meat between thumb and index finger. A LOT of pressure. It caused pain. A LOT of pain. Then he grabbed my thumb and SNAPped it into place. There you go.
As to the pain from his probing, he looked at me and asked "What would be putting stress on your lungs?".
Aha. Reflexology. And I DO have aerosol stressors with my work.

He snapped my other thumb, too.

And my neck.
It was driving him nuts: the crookedness. It was drivin' me nuts, too: the pain, but I did not tell HIM that.
He lay me down on a bench, cradled my neck, and did the thing. SNAP, CRACKLE, POP!
My neck was STRAIGHT.
I was, in fact, taller.
And I did not hurt.

Thanks so much.

And yes, I can still walk.

Next: the Tao of the Happy Hunters