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Wednesday, October 02, 2013

Breakfast not at Tiffany's. (I told her NEVER to call me here....)


Himself went to his MARC guinea pig appointment yesterday, and got my peelz. Little tan ovals, that smell like dirty socks. Such a pleasure. I have a one-in-four chance of receiving a placebo (I get the same whatever throughout the trial). On my way home, my face got flaming hot and red. That flush makes me pretty convinced that I have the real thing. (Do not ask on what basis I suspect this. Doom.)

Jeff, my guy at the study, shared some tidbits about my blood work at my behest. My blood sugar level is high. Borderline. *Robot arm flail* Losing more weight will likely fix this. I have lost ten pounds and maintained it for a couple of months, so yesternight I reinstituted the low carb, high protein regimen which works for me. Thirty-eight pounds,and I will be a happy camper. Twenty-five below that, and I will be around my college weight. I may eschew the final stage, a little heft, and my natural stance and walk seems to scream "alpha", and unpleasant people leave me alone. I'm a cross between an ape and Michael Dunn. (My preemie-ness appears to have left me with quasi-dwarfish short legs. Not freaky, but enough...off...to affect my gait. I descend stairs like Doctor Loveless.)

Jeff did not call the ambulance re: my blood sugar, so I am OK to  handle this meself for the nonce. The duration of the study is sufficient to allow me to lose weight, and bring the blood sugar under control. If the end bloodwork  reveals it as still elevated, we shall resort to more drastic measures, like actually seeing a doc about this. (Note: FLUSH! My face is red and hot. The pill is doing its ineffable thing, plus, I slept through the night without needing to "go".) The weight loss should  fix my BP issues as well.

So dinner was chuck steak, grilled. Cheap cut with LOADS of flavor, but Mr. McLeod revealed The Secret: slather a steak with lard. Yes. The relatively lower cooking heat of the lard causes the fat of the steak to fry, imparting an amazing crispness and flavor. Breakfast: leftover steak and two fried eggs. Do NOT freak out over the fat intake. (Picks up a stick of butter and peels it like a banana: "I can eat this. I'm on Atkins!") The biochemical magic of the diet actually lowers triglycerides and such.

Here endeth the symposium on The Health of the Aardvark.

11 comments:

Doom said...

No comment, no comment, no comment. Ah, where was I? Right.

They had me on insulin. I went off it on my trip, around the end of August. They wanted me to check four times a day for the next several days, to know what dose to start at. At 158... I haven't seen it this low in a while. Not sure insulin is right for me. Then again the reasons I am not on medication is because one can't be used in my condition, another I can't take, and the last was causing kidney problems (well, and wasn't effective). Bleh.

I might have to try the lard. I have used butter to fry a steak, that works well. I'm always looking for new ways to add fats. Seriously. My heart condition must have been viral, my arteries are clean as a whistle and my cholesterol and such blood tests are fantastic.

/biting tongue

Michael W said...

@Aardvark --- "I'm a cross between an ape and Michael Dunn. (My preemie-ness appears to have left me with quasi-dwarfish short legs. Not freaky, but enough...off...to affect my gait. I descend stairs like Doctor Loveless.)"

Considering that Michael Dunn's Dr. Loveless has always been one of my favorite fictional characters (just got finished watching some of his "Wild Wild West" episodes as a matter of fact), I'd say you came out ahead on the deal. Now if you can only sing duets with the Dread Dormommoo you'd be in business.

The Aardvark said...

Dunn played the FINEST fictional villain ever crafted for live-action television.

Did I raise the bar?

My tenor isn't QUITE right for a duet of that sort. Such an amazing pair, were Loveless and Antoinette!

Michael W said...

@Aardvark --- I would easily point to Dunn's Doctor Loveless as a textbook example of how television can sometimes get it right in regards to villains (second place going to Frank Gorshin's Riddler, and third place to the "Mr. Mad" character from the old "King Leonardo and His Short Subjects" cartoon series).

Doom said...

So you sort of walk like a gunslinger/cowboy? If it makes you feel better, Genghis Khan was like that. Some say it was natural, due to his race, others say it was from riding horses so frequently. People were known to tease him about it. Only one tease per person though.

The Aardvark said...

I have a barrel chest, and my arms tend to hang out when I walk, rather than hanging straight by my side. My self-appointed sifu examined the way I stand and move. Apparently, though I am short, I have gravitas, and it may be off-putting to those with ill intent. Helpful for an armed pacifist.

Doom said...

Armed pacifist? I love that! I personally say that I am an absolutely peaceable man. And that I will kill to keep it that way. I still like your ditty better.

And, yes, G.K. had a barrel chest too, though I can't remember reading how his arms worked when he walked, though I have to suspect there are limits to that to a degree. I... used to be a fan. Fine, if you don't want me to think G.K. when I think of you strolling around I won't. Out loud.

The Aardvark said...

GK is fine with me.

Also, Robert Benchley.

Michael W said...

Also Monk Mayfair.

The Aardvark said...

I was SO going to mention Monk, and got distracted. Really? I feel complimented.

(Just got a copy of the compiled "Rocketeer" comics by Dave Stevens.)

Michael W said...

Stevens did the best Monk (and I so wish the movie had managed to keep that subplot).

Stevens was also a gentleman.