Old Time Radio at OTRCat!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Traveling sales ponies nonpareil

I encourage all to find online the "My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic" (sugar crystallizes in my very veins to write that) episode about the Flim Flam Brothers.


Here is The Song:

There, now that you are back from dealing with your Pony-induced diabeetus, there is a reason for this display (beyond my desire to share an astoundingly complex song from a kid's cartoon). "Traveling sales ponies nonpareil". WHAT A LYRIC!

Riatsila is car shopping. I offered to shoot him in the head to put him out of his misery, but no, no- he had to do this. He found the Car of His Dreams online, in his Scotsman's price range, and called the dealership in Murfreesboro, TN to haggle a bit, and to let them know of his interest. He told them we would drive up (90 minutes) to look at it and make the cash purchase if it checked out (ran a CarFax,,,it was sweet). We drove up, and had a pleasant trip, tingling with anticipation, both knowing how Chris Matthews felt in '08.

We got up there, found the company: Sp**dw*y Auto Sales. I maneuvered into the packed car lot, and Riat went to make his honorable intentions known. The portly...no, that's not right. "Portly" suggests London Bankers in their Club, waiting to hear news of Fogg's Journey. The fat florid-faced salesman looked confused, then went into the office to announce what car we were looking for. S*eed*ay is not a large lot, so this seemed odd. The office was filled with many fat, red-faced middle-Tennessee purveyors of automotive excellence, and one in the corner said that in checking it that afternoon, they found that the engine was about to blow. It couldna' take it any morrrre. One seated chunk of humanity said that it would be sold "AS IS", indicating their piety in preventing Riat's driving off in a junker. From the depths of the office came the info that a new engine would cost $2000.  Another worthy burbled summat about trouble at "bottom of the engine". Another standee asked if we were looking for a cash sale, and offered that the closest to our amount was a Mercedes wagon for double what Riatsila wished to pay. Someone else muttered about taking the car off their website.

I muttered "Sweet."and we turned to take our leave of Spe*dwa* Auto Sales, 103 SE Broad St., Murfreesboro, TN. We were glum on the 90 minute drive home.

Now, I can fathom that they were in fact saving us from a purchase vile, and that their faces shone brightly that night as they returned home to hearth and family, warm in the knowledge of a Day Well Spent. I can. I should, but the atmosphere of the place when we walked in smelt of "scam", and the way everyone piled on with little details said "disingenuous", and the way they did NOT show us the car, and instead offered an alternative auto at twice the price said "bait-and-switch". So we will watch to see if the car comes down.  If it does not, well, there is always the Better Business Bureau, and the State Attorney General.

Used car salesmen nonpareil.


Jay Agan said...

Sorry about your car buying experience. Me, I'm sticking with the old Ford I've got.

You're really into the ponies! At least we now know how to pronounce non-par-eel ..... er ..... ay.

Here's a link to another pony afflicted unfortunate:


The Aardvark said...

Really, Jay, I am not THAT into ponies...not really (takes off his MLP-FIM jammies and reaches for the Underoos...). I am W-A-A-A-Y more into clever writing and songs; the idea of a cute animal cartoon attempting a "Music Man"-inspired musical number (and pulling it off spectacularly while not dumbing it down for the widdle kiddles) produces in me something akin to awe. The voice acting is top-notch. I heard a clip of John deLancie as Discord. "Q" rules in the Ponyverse, too.

It is another reason I love (first season) SUPERCAR so much. Freres Woodhouse wrote clever grown-up dialog which brought the characters vividly to life (and the loan of their OWN character "Dr. Beaker" was a plus, too.)

I would encourage you to sign up to the "SUPERCAR the Comic" Yahoo group. Michael's writing is sparkling, and he stays true to the characters, while adding to the cast in an an on-model fashion. They would have worked in a third-or-fourth season series.

Michael- I just thought of Harper and Judd. Are they in the cards? Harper as a denizen of Wall St. or summat? All rehabbed and psycho as ever?

The Aardvark said...

WHOA! I saw the video.

I am SO getting that cutie mark tattoo.

Michael W said...

Well, as much as I can understand the need for including the My Little Pony video, I have to say I still prefer the Miser Brothers (Heat and Cold).

(Besides, any animated feature which employs the voice of Shirley Booth is aces in my book.)

Based on your rather enlightening and entertaining account I had to use Google Maps to examine S******y A**o S***s. Wow . . . it IS tee-tiny ain't it?

Harper and Judd in the cards? Actually, by rights, they should both be in the jug, but I'll see. After "First Flight" my next story involves time traveling to either Victorian or Edwardian England, so not much chance of H&J showing up there. I'll see what happens after I get it written.

The Aardvark said...

C'MON, Michael, the music number was AWESOME, it being not rap and all. And with ponies.

Oh, mercy, I must be gay. I actually UTTERED THE WORDS "cutie mark" today.

No. I am definitely straight. I have never seen an episode of "GLEE".

You must be a Master Spy! (See what I did, there?) How EVER did you figure out the True Name of the car place? I was so careful to obscure the name. Every time.

In the "future now", H&J should be out of stir, yes? However, I will be happy to see ANY continuation story of The Marvel of the Age!

TheWayfarer said...

Un: You have to be braindead-and-a-half to even consider buying a(n ab)used car off a lot: You are paying $200 for the POS and the rest to the POS in a suit selling it.
Deux: When your sanity returns and you FLUSH MLP like what it is, we'll talk about SMART pre-owned vehicle purchasing.

The Aardvark said...

Ahhh, Galt, as gentle as ever.

Sometimes the young'uns have to learn on their own.

As to MLP, I am not a die-hard nut for the thing. My daughter loved the Ponies from the '80s, and boy, those were like picking all the marshmallow bits from Lucky Charms, Count Chocula, any marshmallow cereal knockoff by Malt-0-meal, putting them in a bowl, pouring clear Karo syrup on them. and eating them with a big glass of Nesquik on the side.

REALLY think about that.

The new series is actually NOT like that. (You have to understand, too, that this is honest-to-goo market research for me. The target market for our shirt line is also rabid about MLP-FIM. This gives me fodder (!) for designing shirts to coax shekels from them. Also, when dealing with them at conventions, I don't come off like a creepy poser. That said, I AM impressed that the MLP writers have taken it beyond a mere 22-minute toy commercial.
See, Galt, you made me talk about Ponies. Why did you DO that?

Perhaps you WANTED to hear more about Ponies...?

I keed, I KEED!
I AM curious as to your car-buying system, even though I appear unrepentant and self-justifying at this point....

TheWayfarer said...

1. Always buy from a private party.
2. Have the vehicle inspected before you buy, especially if you are not mechanically inclined.
3. Price is ALWAYS negotiable if you have cash.
4. Insist on a test-drive.
No HONEST individual will refuse you a test-drive or mechanical inspection.

TheWayfarer said...

This above all:
0. NEVER buy Dodge, especially a used one.

The Aardvark said...

Thank you, GITB!

We are on the same page, except for one small point.


The Dodge Caravan line have been the most reliable vehicles I have ever owned. We drive those suckers HARD! As to other Dodge ranges, I have no clue.

Out of curiosity, what is your Brand of Choice?