Sunday, February 24, 2008
As a collector of alternative medicine arcanum, I find my interest in it is NewsMaxed out. I REALLY am tired of NewsMax. They cannot comprehend that "No!" means No.
I have tried to opt out, but like unwanted pr0n pop-ups, they keep showing up.
What has really gotten me perturbed is the adverts they send camouflaged as news. "Dr. Shylock's Newsletter" promises virtually Gnostic truths about this vitamin and that phyto-nutrient, and which two food additives will make your bladder invert. All you have to do is subscribe to his newsletter!
Now, I believe a laborer is worthy of his hire, but where such dire health results are in the balance, isn't it a tad unethical to hold seekers of medical good hostage to making them buy your newsletter to save their lives? If the Army doesn't want to fight the Prostate That Ate Cleveland, then the good Doc should pony up the info that will whittle the Florida grapefruit currently wrapped around Mr. Jones' urethra down to its accustomed walnutty dimensions.
Add to this the fact that most of these newsletters YELL THEIR PROPAGANDA AT THE TOP OF THEIR KEYBOARDS!!!
LIVE TO BE 100 BY DOING LINES OF BARLEY POWDER!!!!
YOGURT ENEMAS GAVE THE HUNZA SUPERPOWERS, AND LOTS OF MESSY FUN!!!!!
Oh, the real annoyance is that they are not newsletters at all; they are catalogs.
BUY THIS MULTIVITAMIN, OR HAVE YOUR HEAD EXPLODE WITH A THERMONUCLEAR ANEURYSM.
"Foul", I cry. Foul and Bravo Sierra.
I also declare shenanigans.