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Sunday, December 23, 2012

You CAN go home again!

Hail the conquering hero! The Aardvark hath arriven home.

I packed up a tad early this afternoon (with permission of the sweet lass who was running the dealer's room); a lad came by and asked if I needed help. I told him "People tell me so, but I cope." He looked puzzled. I awarded him a shirt in exchange for bagging the shirts so that I could box them up expeditiously. We were both happy with the exchange. Warm goodbyes were had all around, and I began my seven hour trek home. I sit here with a ferocious case of car lag, happy to be where I belong.

I had set a range of sales figures for the con, and surpassed the lower end, so it was worth the effort. I missed seeing Jay, but am abundantly thankful that he discovered his brake issues timely and in a relatively safe manner. Next time! I was ill-disposed to wander all over Columbus with the weather as it was (I drive fine in snow...it is the people who skid at the sight of a snowflake that concern me.)

It was pleasant to see the pretty Christmas decorations that were my view from the tenth floor. It made up for what I did not see on the drive to Chez 'Vark. I am...concerned...at the paucity of Christmas lights in evidence this year. DC appears not only to have sucked the value from the dollar, but also, the Fed Chairman that Stole Christmas seems to have evacuated the Christmas Spirit from the country. There are a few shining examples of the Festive Art to be seen, the operative word being few. I drove up the my house, and saw our Christmas tree shining a beacon of relative joy at me, and lo, in the front window, The Leg Lamp! Christmas comes but once a year, and mild bad taste still gives us cheer!

So anyway, I am home, safe and sound. Cigars kept me alert, in a savory fashion, but I will be happy to detox over the next few hours, and be rid of Smoky Palate! (I am surprised that no-one has trademarked that one. The cigarette industry, back in the days of Mad Men, would invent maladies that THEIR brand alleviated. "Four out of five doctors agree: Lusties do not cause Smokers Throat!".)


 This from the era when it was perfectly acceptable to give Uncle Fred a red or green foil carton filled with his favorite brand. He could mute the smoke smell with the bottles of Jade East or Hai Karate his nieces and nephews would present him as prezzies under the tree. 


I would sooner dab charcoal lighter behind each ear.

Well, I truly wish that we could all be together to hoist a glass, and gnaw haunch-of-turkey in prandial celebration of Christmas. (I fry a GREAT Cajun turkey! The Dread Dormomoo roasts an amazing stuffing-filled bird as well. We would need to take a vote.) I must settle with wishing all of you a blessed and merry Christmas, and a much-improved New Year, in whatever way improvement would be an improvement.

I took glee in wishing my customers a Merry Christmas. A couple of pagan chicks wished me a good Yule back. Works for me.

Cool Yule, y'all!


Doom said...

A good Yule... Merry Christmas to you, too! Da chicks, more the pagan ones, mess me up. Anywho. Glad you made it home and all went well. I hope all yall settle into the warren and have a nice bunny family Christmas.

It may please you to know this is the first year I have ever put up Christmas lights. My mother all but pouted about me humbugging the notion but was going to let it die. So, I fooled her, before she went home even. :)

Michael W said...

"Smoky Palate" sounds like a great name for a noir character. Sort of like "Juicy Withers" and "Sleeve Coat" from the Firesign Theatre production "J-Men Forever".

The Aardvark said...

I have J-Men Forever!

"Smoky Palate" would have to be a moll, or the PI's secretary.

The Aardvark said...

Excellent, Doom! "Bunny Family Christmas" makes me O.D. from coziness.

Glad you made your mother happy with the lights. They are so cheery!

Jay said...

I remember J-Men Forever!

I also remember when Jane Dornacher (She composed some of the music/songs for it as well as voicework.)when she was the "traffic lady" for WNBC AM in NYC (This was during my "wilderness days",4 yrs, in New Jersey.)She died when the chopper hit NY harbor just off the USS Intrepid. Due to faulty parts in the aircraft. THAT was a sad day.