Old Time Radio at OTRCat!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Brother, can you spare a rattler?

In the nether regions of Sunday AM radio, there is a collection of the more...he groped for the most felicitous word...more agrarian of the pulpiteers gracing Radioland- the ones you could probably put the touch on for a spare water moccasin. These bucolic homilists employ a preaching style most commonly referred to as "huffing", that is, the tacking on of a "huh" or an "ah" aspiration at the end of a sentence or phrase.

"Many in the worlduh do not know to trust Jeee-susuh."

Like that. It is a continuation of the previous syllable, like taking a backwards breath. The good ones (and there are good ones, because this- style- is taught in their preaching schools; why, I do not know) make it flow, as part of their breathing. It becomes a part of their cadence. The bad ones, well, they just tack on an extra syllable, often after a pause.

Many in the world

huh

do not know to trust Jeee-sus

huh.

Read the two aloud. Loud. You'll see what I mean. I'm sure that Prof. Higgins would explain it far better than I.

I listen to Coast to Coast AM on 1100, WTAM out of Cleveland, OH. Big station, a blowtorch. It comes in far better than our local powered-down WBHP thirty miles away in Huntsville. During the day, a local AM station overpowers it, and this morning I heard a preacher who was patently Doing It Wrong. Not only wrong, but the wrong sound.

"AKH". The Dread Dormomoo said it sounded like he had a hairball.

JEEEEE-Zus

AKH

Is my Saviour

AKH

Annnd

AKH

He should be

AKH

your saviour

AKH

too!

AKH.

He used it as commas and breath stops. He used it like Justin Wilson used Creole seasoning.

And people wonder why the Gospel cannot seem to get a fair hearing anymore.




 

4 comments:

Michael W said...

If I ever come to power I plan to impose a $100 fine on every "professional speaker" (including on-air personalities) who insinuate "uhs" or "ums" or Significantly Long Pauses into their commentary. I hear "experts" on the television or radio who can barely manage to complete or articulate a sentence . . . and I'm supposed to take these people seriously?

Reminds me of my days in radio, where I'd smack myself on the wrist each time I went "uhhh".

And speaking of "sparing a rattler" (or "rattler-uh", to adopt the local dialect), the post title reminds me of an obscure comic book story I encountered in the mid-60s. I can't remember the name of the issue or the company that put it out. The artwork was reminiscent of Steve Ditko with a severe migraine. There were no costumed characters or anything, but I do remember a woman dying in mid-story because she'd been to a snake-handler worship service and ended up on the wrong side of the sermon (if you catch my drift). As she was dying she was crying out for "Brother Ralph" or "Brother Rath" or something like that. The lead character may have been called "The Echo" or "The Purple Hand" or something like that. If this stirs a memory in anyone I'd appreciate some help.

Of course, it'd been argued that I need help anyway . . .

Jay Agan said...

Hey Mike! Uh ..... dude ..... er ..... um ..... like ..... y'know ..... whatever. Know wahm sayin'?

Aardvark: It was years before I found out his name was Jesus & not JEEE-ZUZ!

I remember when WTAM was WKYC back in the late 60s/early 70s. Where I got a steady diet of rock n' roll (Or was it rick n' roll?). Came in great up here in Buckeye country. Was later eclipsed by Windsors' CKLW.

John Corbey had a recurring character on WTVN (610 AM Columbus, OH.)named Justa Cajon. Each recipe contained "a whooole paoun' a cayeean peppaaa! Lordy dat be goood Ah gayraowntee!"

By the way. You "inspired" (Perspired?) my latest post. You're mentioned in it.

The Aardvark said...

@Michael- You Toastmasters Nazi!

Yeah, I'm with you on the "experts" who cannot transmit a coherent - or grammatical- thought. I am especially outraged at the inability of ANYONE to correctly use "fewer" as opposed to "less".

The comic sounds like one of the off-brand horror titles. Coulda been a Warren, but those are out of my league.

Radio, huh? What did you do?
--------------
@ Jay
Read and responded to.

HUH!

Michael W said...

"Coulda been a Warren, but those are out of my league."

It could've been a pre-Creepy or Eerie Warren title. The time would be about right. I'm pretty certain it wasn't DC or Marvel or Gold Key. I'm now also thinking it could've been one of the old Charlton or Harveyhorror or suspense titles.

Radio: for five years I had a morning show at KTRU 91.7 FM (the student-run radio at Rice University). Since the students couldn't inspire any among their number to do one of the 7AM-10AM shows they depended on Outside Help (me) to handle it. I started out on Saturday mornings and got eventually bumped up to Thursday mornings. This lasted until the student population swelled to the point where the station no longer needed Outside Help. To say I had loads of fun would be an understatement. KTRU had a nice little signal . . . reaching most if not all of Houston . . . and I managed to build a nice faithful little audience with "The Uncle Mikey Show" ("Today's Hits . . . Tomorrow's Congressional Testimony").