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Thursday, July 25, 2013

The Weapon of Choice.

I have been wallowing in Japanese cinema goodness for a couple of days. Godzilla, Mothra. The greats. None of this lightweight Kurosawa stuff. Miyazaki might as well be animating "Homestuck". I'm talkin' REAL movies!

Watched "Godzilla Tokyo SOS" last night as I printed into the wee hours, and bar none, my favorite screen weapon is the venerable Maser Cannon that is always trundled out to face the Advancing Menace. It is not kept back to protect high-risk targets, no. It is in the front lines, ready to fry Godzilla with Microwave Death. Mmmmmm...extra crispy!

No-one considers the results of Attracting Attention From Something With Atomic Breath! The beam fires, Godzilla roars a bit, then his back plates glow and the atomic breath beam comes from his mouth. One shot, and the Maser Cannon looks like your kid's Lego collection all over his floor, just burnier. Really makes me wonder if the Maser Cannon Division should have red shirts.

...Or wear the outfits the kamikaze pilots wore. One fact is flat: If you roll forward in a Maser Tank, you are not coming back.

Perhaps something in red....


Michael W said...

One of my prize pieces of gashopon is a Maser Cannon. To my way of thinking, you can't be taken seriously as a Japanese movie monster unless the JSDF wheels out several Maser Cannons to go up against you. That's as good as having your name in lights on Broadway.

The Aardvark said...

Of course, my screed was deficient in not having the provenance of the Maser Cannon...the Markalite Cannon from "The Mysterians", as well as the redoubtable Atomic Heat Cannon from 1962's "Mothra".

The deployment of the Markalite Cannon makes any Thunderbirds launching seem straightforward.

Michael W said...

You're a mind-reader. Both the Markalite Cannon and the Atomic Heat Cannon are equally wonderful bits of lethal hardware (as well as excellent examples of movie modelwork).

Heck, if I was in an army, and I saw a Markalite Cannon descending in my general direction, I'd consider retreat as a serious option.

The Aardvark said...

At least for half-an-hour of its use!