Sex with "no strings attached".

Oh BOY! The tubes of the interWeb have made me more popular than EVER.
My Yahoo mail is always bringing news about Friends Who Want to Meet Me, especially Friends With Whom to Have Sex With No Strings Attached.

Wow.
Wowee wowwowwow.

The limitless cyber-vistas beckon.

These emails, which get deleted instanter, raise an interesting issue. (Why is it impossible not to get Freudian when one writes about sex?) The concept of "sex with no strings attached". Not to get all Harry-met-Sally, but I question that this is even possible, even amongst the most fillintheblank-pathic.

A 70-year-old man is rocking on the porch with his wife of five decades. No words pass between them as they sit and watch the world go by. Finally, she hoists herself up from her chair, and shuffles into the house. Minutes pass, then the screen door squeaks opens, and the old lady shuffles behind her hubby's chair, whereupon she raises her arm and >CLANG< wallops him with a cast-iron skillet.
What's THAT for?" He complains. "Fifty years of bad sex." is her reply.

Three days pass, and the missus is sitting, knitting on the porch. The old man comes up behind her and >WHACK<, he hits her on the head with an axe handle.

"That's fer knowin' th' diff'rence." he grumps.

Point- there are ALWAYS strings with sex, whether the memories of Other Partners, the worry of Measuring Up to an experienced partner's other lovers, the microbial leftovers of previous encounters, or the emotional ties you have with a sex partner- and there ARE emotional ties, as you are at your MOST naked in that embrace. Sorry, no footnotes, you'll have to go to the library for that.

Besides, you know it's true.