When the Dread Dormomoo and your Aardvark first met in the cafeteria line at St. Andrews in Laurinburg, NC, we had an argument.
First.
Time.
It was about word usage. She had said summat like: "Smell of the flower". I maintained that the "of" was a waste of energy. "Smell the flower". And so it went.
Your Aardvark was a jerk back then. Rather like the Little Blonde Mommy stranger at Panera Bread who felt that it was incumbent upon her to say "It's actually more like a souffle'." to correct Riatsila and me when we referred to a "breakfast quiche" in line.
Over our close-to-35-years of marriage, we have argued a lot, but not in the "Ralph and Alice" mode. We like a good intellectual argument. We argue over Things Biblical...we both agree on Biblical Authority, the "what"; we go 'round about the limits or expression of that authority, the "how". She is more of a "Strict Constructionist" than I (and I make most people look like antinomians), I tend more towards "Spirit and Grace" (Which is not to say that herself is a Legalist...just setting us on a continuum, here. She is firmly reliant upon the grace of God.) So we go 'round and 'round, but it isn't personal; we are arguing ideas, not with each other. There is a huge difference. Politics, food, whatever...we can enjoy a good back-and-forth on it.
We set up ground rules before we married. We would NEVER embarrass or belittle each other in public. The Leo McKern "Number Two" in "The Prisoner" having mentally regressed Number 6 to childhood, speaks as a father to him: "I always speak well of your Mother.". That's a good-enough epitaph for me.
NEVER tell the cutesy stories that would (figuratively) expose the nakedness of the other. No biddie kaffeeklatsches, or locker-room Tales. You know, the "do unto others" riff. It works. At least thirty-five years worth.
