VALERIAN STINKS!

    No, really. I mean it! Valerian stinks. It may help you sleep, but it is one smelly herb.


    Now "Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets" is a wonderful film. It does NOT stink, despite what professional critics may say. Luc Besson has kept much of the charm of the graphic novels "Valérian and Laureline" by writer Pierre Christin and artist Jean-Claude Mézières in his vast sci-fi presentation. The various races and critters hew closely to Mézières' vision: The Mül Converter is identical to the comic version, save that it is more lovable in the movie (The graphic novel refers to them as "grumpy converters")




The Shingouz are the mercenary trio of info-sellers:



The Bagoulin are not as buff as in the comics.




The movie's open is a quick history of the accretion of the City of a Thousand Planets, from the first Soviet-American handshake in space, through the growing space station being the ground for international amity (even the Red Chinese!) through First Contact, and our introduction to many alien races, whose ships are added to the bulk of the station. Finally its mass serves to be a threat to Earth, so it is sent on its way by Rutger Hauer wishing it Godspeed.

The movie's Present has the station of planetoid size, and serving as the center of inter-species diplomacy.

I will not discuss the plot...there is a page for that. I will speak of The Horror. The movie debuted 21 July. The Dread Dormomoo went tonight (4 August) and our Collectable Tickets were 113 and 114 out of 1000. Two weeks, and 114 tickets at one theater. That is a Horror.

Besson has a well-proven track record. "The Fifth Element" sold well. I wonder if choosing a (comparatively) obscure French graphic novel series to do a $180 million indie film of may have been a bad move, as far as American audiences are concerned. I mean, Captain America is a Hydra agent, Thor is/has been a woman, and for all I know, Black Panther is Laotian. What do Americans know about their own classic comics, let alone a French sci-fi epic series?

The movie is family-friendly enough. It is, as they say, a visual feast. It LOOKS like a European film in all its richness, because, well, Luc Besson ain't from Queens. It sticks shockingly close to source material, unlike, say, the "Thunderbirds" movie of aught-four. This is a good movie, and deserves far better than it is receiving.

It is a good movie, again. I encourage you to go see it, as well as reading the original graphic novels. They have been translated.

My biggest problem with the movie is that Valérian (Dane DeHaan) looks fifteen. None too rugged.

Anyone up for a Retief movie?

Thunderbirds Have Gone.

So, Friend Fred may well disown me, or block me on Facebook, but I must confess to you all...

I just finished season three of Amazon/Pukeko's hybrid series "Thunderbirds Are Go". I like it in the sense of "It's the only game in town.". That said, it is not in that sense, the way that ST-TNG was in that sense. I have spoken of my initial reaction to the practical effects/CG series elsewhen.

I like it in that the updates on the ship designs are somewhat logical, and seem to help in the rescues (Thunderbird 3 is now more than a space taxi). I like that Ben and Nick Foster have produced a soundtrack built upon Barry Gray's iconic "Thunderbirds" theme. (They have been doing Doctor Who scores of late, as well).

Check out the launch sequences:



(Mr. Wolfe, there are a number of full episodes on YouTube, as well)

The shading on the secondary characters is somewhat better...sort of a digital version of the plasticine heads in earlier Anderson shows, used for lesser one-off characters. (Oh! The sets and ships are real, practical models. The characters are CG.) The New Zealand producers have predictably ramped up Gerry and Sylvia Anderson's Shiny, Happy, Dark and Moody SocialismTM. Thunderbirds often work hand-in-digital-glove with the GDF (Global Defence Force). This is problematic. The whole "Must maintain secrecy at all costs" has been jettisoned, apparently due to the universal use of CCD cameras. The camera detector must have been plonking constantly, 'til Scott put a bullet through it.

The rescuees have a predictable male/female dynamic. The guy is either an oaf, or just weak, relying on the strong-woman-who-don't-need-no-man to get through it all. It is wearisome.

The Hood has become an uber-capitalist who relies on cybernetic gadgetry to do his dastardy. He does not have hypnotic glowing eyes. He has cyber glowing eyes. Meh.

The Hood has a confederate, "The Mechanic" who is physically plugged into his equipment to interface and control it. He is creepy and indulges in histrionics, playing to the back row to get across that he is controlling multiple drones at a time, his own self.

HOWEVER, Brains (who is apparently Indian, and with a lessened stammer) has come up with A Thing. Rather than developing new single-use vehicles, he has developed a pod system, infinitely customisable with attachments and tracks and gizmos, oh, my. Clever, and nicely dirtied and banged up. Used.

They apparently got over environmental catastrophes in the first season. Good. Uranium's bad, mmm-kay?

It is fun chewing-gum for the brain. Gives me something to do whilst I wait for FIRESTORM.

Rosemont Reportage

Hail the conquering heroes!

Noeru and I have spent the weekend selling shirts of awesomeness at G-Fest, the foremost Godzilla/kaiju convention on the planet. This is the 24th year of the venerable con, and the Aardvarks have been blessed in being able to provide printed shirts for the convention for the last decade, if memory serves, as well as our own pop-culture shirts that we sell in the dealers room. Riatsila started going with me to the con, and I have also had Mark Hooton (a NASA engineer friend) and David the Good (of www.thesurvivalgardener.com fame!) as my helpers at G-Fest in years past.

G-Fest is an offshoot of J.D.Lees' G-Fan magazine, celebrating the likes of Godzilla, Mothra, and other tokusatsu movies and series (like Ultraman!). The con imports actors, artists and technicians from the various incarnations of Gojira, and offers the chance to meet and hob-nob with these worthies. G-Fest is held at the Chicago O'Hare Crowne Plaza in Rosemont, IL, a fantastic venue which is only now beginning to feel the strain of a growing fandom. The Crowne Plaza has been the location of G-Fest for as long as I have been in attendance.



We have some thirty kaiju-specific designs that we designed for this convention.

It is THAT good, and the fans are THAT enthusiastic.

We have many friends and fans, as well. and it is always a joy to see them, year after year.

I have a request, though. My dealer neighbor (call him "D") has a dreadful health issue, one which has him on a countdown. Please pray for him to be well.

More later.

A cacaphony of consonants

I want you to know what a STRUGGLE it is for me NOT to share those gelatine mould salad pictures.

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Lots of fussing about $6(?) trillion missing from the Pentagon. "They need to find it!" say concerned folks.
Look in orbit, sez I.

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If I can emotionally extort someone for it, then it's a RIGHT!


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When the arm-flailing over "MEDICAID cuts" begin, here's the skinny: the "cuts" are reductions in INCREASES.
There are still increases in the budget, just not quite as many.
It is still a large net gain.

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"This Island Earth".
The Monitor played the reporter in "The Thing".

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The most hateful thing about Boomers is all the old people adverts they have spawned.


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In Biblical arguments, the text is the thing. Your opinion matters not a whit.Here is the issue:
Many people SEEM to think that the Bible is Somehow Different from other books, in that "because spiritual", the rules of grammar, usage, comprehension and logic become squishy, and do not apply, as they do in reading the encyclopaedia or Upton Sinclair. Also, the "living document" business need not apply. Just as Webster's dictionary "fixed" the language, standardised it at a set point in time, so the Bible is set. The words and thoughts mean what they meant WHEN WRITTEN; they mean what they meant to the then-current audience. This means we must apply ourselves a tad to understand the (historical) context in which it was written. Ezekiel was not writing to 21st century Americans about a UFO sighting by the river Chebar. He was writing to Jewish exiles in Babylon, using imagery well understood by his audience.

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How exactly do you get "vworp-vworp" from the TARDIS matrialisation sound?


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Farewell, you moon-faced assassin of joy, you.

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STILL better than Mitch.


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I really, really HATE this design.
Mash-ups are one thing, but someone just swallowed a lot of sci-fi, then threw up on a shirt.





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Yet another in the endless string of annoyances...
"Put the petal to the metal.".


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Have a lovely rest of the week!

 

Post-prandial palaver

And the hilarious bit is, the John Birchers were right!

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Once again it comes down not to can I, but should I?
(I'm going to let you guess.)

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The biggest result of withdrawing from the Paris Accords will be that we won't subsidise China, India, and other signatories for doing nothing.

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Penguins are melting, so that they look like black-and-white cookies with beaks.

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Saw a bit of David Jeremiah shilling posthumously for Tim LaHaye and the "Left Behind" series.
This paragon of biblical scholarship spent the time preaching about "The Rapture", a doctrine that did not exist until the 1800s. If Paul nor Peter nor John did not write of it (much less Jesus preaching about it) it is...suspect.
They DID teach of the Resurrection just prior to the day of judgment. I'll bank on THAT one.

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“There are three intolerable things in life—cold coffee, lukewarm champagne, and overexcited women." -- Orson Welles


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I suspect that people might have happier lives if they did not hope for or expect the worst for others.


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I mourn the loss of restaurants-gone-by. Farrell's Ice Cream Parlour Restaurants. Howard Johnson's. Shakey's Pizza (One exists in Auburn, AL).
The original Charcoal Grill in Dillon, SC. DeEtte's Kitchen in Dillon.
I HUNGER!

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Drove by a restaurant in Cary, NC this weekend, hight "Greek Fiesta".
The name is what's off-putting. It sounds like Greek-Mexican fusion. I hate fusion.
I am a food segregationist.


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From a year ago. The feelz, they are the same.
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I miss old Superman. Comics Code Superman. The bank robbers dump Jimmy Olson down a well, and the signal watch goes zee-zee-zee Superman.
Funny book Superman, the ones I read as a kid. Escapist fare, not gritty in-your-face mean streets of Metropolis Superman. Multi-colored Kryptonite Superman. Bizarro, Mister Myxzptlk, and Kandor-in-a-can Superman.
Pre-retconning Superman. Lois Lane, Perry White, newspaper biz Superman. "Really, glasses are your disguise?" Superman.
I miss fun Superman.

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Done with every group complaining about how bad it all is, and how "X" must be done to placate them.
I wanna know when MY group is gonna be addressed seriously, and no longer be made fun of!



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Have a lovely weekend!