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Friday, February 10, 2012

Inconsequentia and foofery







Riatsila went to get Necessaries for our supper. It was a cold and rainy and snowy day here in the wilds of Goat Bog. While he was doing the hunter/gatherer gig at our nearby Publix, he picked up some Lender's Bagels. Bless him. He is smart, and also knows enough to get out of the rain, and what bagels to buy. Everything else is cake. (This is high praise, as most do not have those two survival skills down.)

I looked at Waldemart the other day, and the best I could find were Nature's Made or summat. They felt firm in the package. (NO I do not SQUEEZE.) Sara Lees felt...fluffy. Bagels are not fluffy. Meringues are fluffy. Fuzzy bunnies are fluffy. Not bagels. Bagels are meant to be chewy, made from a greyish dough, made into a ring, boiled to toughen 'em up, then baked. Only three things would impel me to New Yawk City: the original coal-fired pizzaria, getting bagels from an honest-to-G*d Jewish deli, and meeting PL, who I would prevail upon to lead me toward the two former, after genteel greetings, and meeting of family.

Lenders is the closest to the real thing on the mass-market shelves. The Natures Whatever brand I got toasted up like some breakfast bread or other would toast, but did not withstand the application of cream cheese gladly. It did not have the tooth of a bagel, and had a touch of sweetness.

It was not a bagel. It was a round roll with a hole in the middle.

I can hardly wait for breakfast. Now if I only had some alfalfa sprouts to go on top.

Stores don't seem to carry them anymore. We'll have to sprout our own again.

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Riatsila picked up some tofu and then picked up two pounds of Lawler's Barbeque. It is an excellent BBQ restaurant. It is a small chain, and maintains its quality. It is the secret ingredient in My Recipe.


Hot and Sour Soup requires pork, sliced thin and simmered in the chicken broth. Once I did the recipe, but all I had at hand was leftover BBQ. I tried it, and it moved into the pantheon of gustatory greatness here at Chez 'Vark. So we had H&S soup for supper. Yum.

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Post-prandially, we enjoyed a couple of episodes finishing a story arc from the third Doctor, "The Green Death". I have just discovered Jon Pertwee's turn as The Doctor, and a grand turn it is. Jo Grant is a great companion as well. I'm sure she kept a few dads tuned in to the show.
Then time for afters. We feasted on Ponies. How they whinnied and kicked, ho, ho!

No, really. I have had three My Little Pony-related designs and had yet to see a single episode of the new Hasbro 22 minute toy ad. Lauren Faust and crew have done an amazing job of updating the show that led a generation down into New Age Hell. (I know it's true. I read Constance Cumbey's book!) "MLP-Friendship is Magic" is a sharply written, fandom friendly series. And it is done in Flash! It is Flash as it should be done, not as de Laurentiis did. Smooth movement, pretty art, and clever writing, that gets better as the series progresses, and the makers realised the Fans Are Watching. (They did a David Tennant pony as an Easter Egg in one episode, and the fan response was overwhelming. They have enlarged his role. The show has lots of stuff like that.)

So we watched the first three episodes. And I hate myself. I cried. Great hot stinging tears. No boo hoos. Just tears unbidden. A sweet story. Hateful. "I shall seek it yet again"

Just...enough with the singing. Wellllll, maybe don't get rid of ALL the musical drollery. One episode had a Benny Hill-esque chase scene with a (very slightly altered) "Yakkity Sax".accompaniment.
Another has a scene and song suspiciously like "Ya Got Trouble" from "The Music Man".

If it were manly to go "SQUEEEEEE!", I would.











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The Lenders breakfast.

Riatsila (look at it backwards) toasted a couple of the Lender's bagels. They were the shelf variety, not the frozen Chosen ones. I had him hand me one before he toasted it. Hmmmm...seemed a tad soft and not-bagel-ey. He toasted it with butter. After, it accepted the cream cheese quite well. I bit, and the thing was soft, and tore easily. As I chewed, the flavor was right, but the consistency was not. I wonder if it is a difference related to increased shelf-life. I will have to try for the frozen ones again, assuming they are still made.
Verdict: a good flavor, but an incorrect "tooth", and a too-soft chew.  7 out of 10 in the Aardvark Aarbitrary Food Aasessment.

8 comments:

Michael W said...

"The Natures Whatever brand I got toasted up like some breakfast bread or other would toast, but did not withstand the application of cream cheese gladly. It did not have the tooth of a bagel, and had a touch of sweetness."

Which goes to prove that just calling something a bagel doesn't make it show. Same with practically any other form of food. As a rule I try to avoid nationally known brands as much as possible; my argument being that, when someone wants to distribute a food item on a national level (especially in these times of rampant health Nazism), all the flavor and (potentially litigationous) texture is leached out.

This applies to more than bagels. Any snack item advertised as "hot" or "inferno" or "extra spicy" in reality demonstrates just slightly less of an attack on the taste buds as a room temperature glass of tap water. The times I've purchased something boasting "jalapeno", and the result wouldn't cause a new thermometer to lose sleep. Feh!

My introduction to bagels came from a deli which was located in a downtown Houston building I worked in for 13 years. Solid bagels just overweight with flavor, as well as meatloaf sandwiches (one of which could feed the homeless in Yugoslavia).

It's been 20 years since I've been in that building. I suspect that, by now, the deli has long been replaced by a Starbucks.

Jay Agan said...

You were talking about coal fired pizza, howzabout woodfired? Check this out:

http://bonotogo.com/

The guy is a personal friend of mine & I've definitely had more than one of his pizzas.

My Little Pony?! Oh geez! Sunshine, lollypops, rainbows everywhere, sweetie, sweetie, happy! HAPPY!

In the words of my mentor, Daffy Duck, "Easy stomach! Don't turn over." Uuuuurp!

The Aardvark said...

Bono to go? Never cared for U2, meself.

Well, you will have to introduce me when I come up for Anime Punch, he said winsomely inviting himself.

(Hmmm...second time I've used "winsome" today. But I used it ironically, 'cos I HATE the word.)

Jay, why do you hate sunshine? Are you a servant of Darkness?

Srsly, have you seen the new series? It is light-years distant from the urpy '80s not-GI Joe-for girls gag-fest. (hmmm...maybe that's where the whole bulimia thing got started....) I mean, you watch Haruhi Suzumiya....

*grin*

The Aardvark said...

Michael, have you Googled your deli?
I looked for Zinn's Deli out Porter-Gaud way in Charleston The old South Windemere shopping Center. It is alas no longer whinnying with us.

OY! I will review the Lenders as an edit to this blog entry. As to HOTness...the single best as-advertised pepper-flavor snack is from an Ohio regional chip-maker "Mike Sells". They have a habanero lime potato chip that is divinely hot and flavorful. It is NOT an endurance test, but it IS hot and yummy. I will try to lay in a stock this spring so you may try them should Our Plan come to fruition.

Michael W said...

The best potato chips I have encountered in recent years have been the Cape Cod Sea Salt chips. If I can locate the Mike Sells brand here I'll try them out.

The Aardvark said...

The Mike Sells has a location finder. Some of their chips can be purchased online. For some reason, the Habanero Lime Kettle Chips cannot be.

Cape Cod DO make a fine chip!

Jay Agan said...

I love sunshine, just not at night.

I never would have thought the Haruhi series to be something akin to My Little Pony! I like it for the theological whackness (She's God you know.). If I were a toon I'd be a Haruhi-ist.

I'd have to intro you to "Mr. Bono" late in the day as that's when he has the shop open. He starts several hours earlier to get the oven warmed up. If the dealers room closes around six, that would be ideal.

The Aardvark said...

OK...GREAT! Thanks for the spoiler, JAY!!

Nahhh...I'm not that guy...
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"You know Dr. Strangelove turns out to be a Nazi war ctiminal."

"MAAANNNNN, thanks for the spoiler!!!"
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Not him. I figure once a thing has been out for six weeks, its my own lookout.

I have watched part of the first *ahem* incarnation of Haruhi. I need to finish it.

I need to see all of MLP-FIM so I can learn it. Then I can infest the Christian bookstores with yet another volume of drivel.

Something like : "The Gospel According To My Little Pony".

Yeah, that's the ticket!