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Saturday, October 30, 2010

The television box is rife with ads for various slick liquids to enhance your sexual experience- especially if you are female. They give tingly cold or buzzy warm sensations, and are flogged as making your sex more intense. Hurrah for intense, though I prefer mine in the house. This has raised a serious question in what we laughingly call my mind, to wit:

When did sex itself stop being good enough?

Your Aardvark has been married for over three decades, has four kids, and thus has some experience in these matters.
Overall, sex is a pretty neat deal. It requires effort, as anything worth doing does, especially if one is interested in one's partner getting as much out of it as oneself does. The payoff is quite nice, indeed. Some will ruin their lives and existing relationships to get that payoff with persons not-their-spouse. (I know, take a little lie-down. That revelation was surely a shocker.) The question remains: when did sex stop being good enough? Why do we have to buy exotic (and comparatively expensive) tingly goo to enjoy ourselves?

I wonder if we are seeing the penultimate result of promiscuity, people becoming so jaded with their merry-go-round of lovers and hook-ups; not quite to the end, yet, but almost...alllllmoooosssst *ahem* ...sorry. Really, though, does a person become so overcome with ennui that the normal cannot satisfy anymore, that juices and suits and power tools and kink become the new normal? Are we a culture of Dorian Grays?

From the outset, God created male and female humans, looked and proclaimed it "very good", as opposed to merely "good" for the rest of creation. When Adam and Eve were introduced in Genesis, they were told to "be fruitful and multiply". One of the first commandments recorded amounts to God patting the young couple on the head and telling them to go make love. Given the lack of self-help books extant at the time, they apparently had to figure it all out on their own. They apparently did, and all without Victoria's Secret or the internet.

Now, do not consider this a bleat for the standard of the position du missionnaire or any such pseudo-puritanical nonsense. The palette of sex-play is large and varied, and bounded by very few biblical strictures, largest of which looms: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Between that and common sense, you can go a long way. I merely ask that we examine the why. Why is what was very good in the beginning now just not good enough?

2 comments:

Michael W said...

My own theory is that the whole mishegas has something to do with Marketing. Consider: Sex is Good. Now also consider a somewhat related issue: Mobility is Good . . . therefore, having some form of transportation is desirable. Following this sort of logic, any pre-stamped plastic box on a set of wheels should be sufficient enough to meet the basic need. But people can't get rich just helping others meet basic needs. So they start campaigns which suggest that Your Life Would Be Even Better If . . .

So then a car isn't simply enough. Now the car must be a Fashion Statement. A Lifestyle Statement. It must reflect the sort of person you are (or, closer to the truth, the sort of person you think you are). This allows for a basic item to be presented in a variety of different styles (all or most of which do not enhance the item's basic function), which allow for some people to gain income at the expense of a technically sheep-brained majority.

The same thing applies to Sex. Yes, one would think that Sex in itself is wonderful (an opinion which I haven't had any argument with in over thirty years of marriage). But how can anyone make any money off of an arrangement like that?

So now we must emphasize Performance. G-spots. Mood enhancers. Cyborg attachments. Things which can be (A) easily manufactured and sold, and (B) rendered irresistable to people who're more conscious over how they're perceived by others, rather than acknoweledging their own truth.

This is why I feel Marriage has been rendered so "unsexy". Especially in American "popular culture". Marriage implies Satisfaction, which implies that there's no need to run down to the corner drugstore for something which will Enhance The Experience. This, of course, openly flies in the face of Commerce. If people are satisfied then they aren't out Buying. And, if they aren't out Buying, then we're not getting Their Money! So we de-emphasize Marriage and, instead, emphasize the Pursuit! The Race becomes more important than the Finish. The Ascent takes precedence over the Peak!

As it was written so long ago (longer, in fact, than Madison Avenue existed): the Hunt is always more satisfying than the Kill.

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