Old Time Radio at OTRCat!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Brother, can you spare a dime ?


One of the most amusing things I have heard in awhile was an audio montage of all the jackass...er...Democrat candidates proclaiming their commitment to "change".

"Change...commitment to change...effect change...agents of change...". Like that.
It makes me want to go to the primary events and fling hands-ful of coins of varying denomination.

Have I said how bored I am with all of this?

"Change" covers a vast continuum. Climate change is the bogey du jour, and it is surely not a positive in most minds. Do they plan on enlarging their carbon footey-prints?
Do they wish to limit liberties even more than Fearless Leader has against the Terrace?
To paraphrase the ditzy alienette from the third season of Star Trek (the REAL one):

"Change and change...what is change?"

What worries me is the way the Great Unwashed accept the litany of change as carven in stone (pauses a beat...). "Our headaches are over...here comes Moses with the tablets!"

I am ready for change; change to the way things should be. The You Ess of Ay has fallen a great fall, with Lincoln putting the kibosh on states rights, through the predations of liberty through the 20th century, up to the swaddling cloth of Homeland Security. We need a return to Constitutional limits upon government, and to the vistas of personal liberty we are being denied today.

McCain has won New Hampshire. The Hilldebeast is looking likely.

Can one be bored and fearful at the same time?


I am clueless as to CraigsList. Loen found THIS jewel, though. While I disagree with the slant, it's still amazing.


I cn haz Bootz. O yes.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

You know, like this:


Thanks to Riatsila for showing how incompetent I am with Photoshop!
Go to this guy's eBay store to check out the cool old ad art.


Memory Lane is now HOV.only.

Toast'em Pop-Ups. Mmmmmmmmm....
Another in the long line of General Mills starters on a field of one that wound up as also-rans.

Here's a timeline.

1964 Schulze and Burch (a baking concern in Chicago) produced a new product that General Foods had invented, called a Toaster Pastry that was marketed under the Toast'em® Brand.


1971 Schulze and Burch acquired the Toast’em® brand from General Foods.


1997 Toast’em Pop-Ups Toaster Pastries were reformulated, creating a new proprietary flavor system resulting in a superior taste and a more moist filling.



So, the original wasn't good enough...they had to make them better. Problem is, they're not better. They are different, sweeter, with an indistinct flavor. "It's red and gooey. This must be STRAWBERRY!". Yummy.

Toast 'Ems started out as "Post Country Squares". Hear what Carolyn Wyman saith:

September 14,1964, Kellogg had a competitive toaster pastry called Pop-Tarts in stores....Kellogg won the Zeitgeist sweepstakes when the name Pop-Tarts, chosen for the way they popped out of the toaster, turned out to echo a pair of 1960s cultural movements, pop music and pop art. Post, by contrast, was stuck with Country Squares, a doubly corny name made all the worse since the Beatles had arrived in America less than two weeks before they hit the market. (Post later changed the name to Toast ’em Pop Ups.)

Amazing. Then, Nabisco came out with Toastettes, blah, blah. (They didn't even do the obvious and have a leggy Toastette dance around. You know, like the cigarette ads from the 50's.)

I want an Eggo....





Saturday, January 05, 2008












I am in consumer shock.


You are no doubt aware of Dollar General Stores. They are the yellow-signed stores that have been around forever, normally found in the older strip mall in town. You know, the one where your wife doesn't go to the salon. It's the store that you go to when you say "I don't want to go all the way to town to pick up a (insert missing consumer item here). I'll just pick summat up at Dollar General.". Well, kiddies, DolGenCorp is Making a Move on the retail scene. Their stores are popping up in tony little suburbs, and they have a new thing: Dollar General Market. Here is the corporate blurb:

The Dollar General Market is a convenient alternative to supercenter shopping. With everything our traditional store carries, as well as an expanded food section including fresh produce and meat, Dollar General Market fulfills many customers’ weekly shopping needs in one stop. In addition to convenience and value, the Dollar General Market is a fun place to shop with additional space for seasonal merchandise, electronics, magazines, home products and more! As of March 2, 2007, Dollar General operated 56 Dollar General Market stores.

Clearly, they need to update their website.

After our junket for Mexican last night, I wanted batteries, so I suggested that we go to the Dollar General Market. And we did.

It was big. It was clean. It was bright. The clerks were friendly and smiling. There was meat, and milk, and fresh strawberries, and Christmas stuff on clearance. (As Christmas is grimly determined to return the end of '08, The Dread Dormomoo and I availed ourselves of some shiny ornaments, and I felt good about it all.) There was even a section with actually useful home repair products like ballcocks, the tube-y, float-y contrivances that go inside your toilet tank; brand-name, too. Of course, the Blue Tarp, to patch things if a chunk of blue ice holes your roof.

They had COMPUTERS. And really nice laptops. At Dollar General. They even do service.
There were locked glass cases with hard drives, and USB hubs, and DVD writers. Oh my.

They DID have batteries, and remaindered anime DVD's, of which I scarfed up several. We sell them as a sideline at the conventions. The kids love buying $10 DVD's.

Dollar General Market is to Dollar General Store as Target is to Wal-mart. Almost.
I was surprised and amazed. I'm gonna go have a Toast'Em Pop-up for breakfast, now.

They had those, too.

Friday, January 04, 2008

The Eight-Track Tape of Dorian Gray

The Dread Dormomoo, Riatsila, and I went to our current favorite Mexican Restaurant, El Olmeca, in Ardmore, AL tonight. Their ASCAP-approved (it says so on the door!) soundtrack was doing its South of the Border best, when a tune from the Grooveyard of Forgotten Favorites popped up. Mas Que Nada by Sergio Mendes & Brasil '66.
Mmmmmmm, tasty. Lani Hall did the lead vocal. Tasty, indeed. She is the wife of Herb Alpert, and went on to a solo career.In 1983 she sang the eponymous main title for Never Say Never Again . She sounded the same as she did almost 20 years previously.
What pipes. Check out her stuff online. Amazing talent.

Oh, and the dinner was good, too!
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow...nothing worse than an upset punditry! Huxterby and Le Nègre Magique winning in Iowa. Kind of amazing. I'm just bored with the whole thing. It's a washout if anyone but Ron Paul gets in. Yes, I really believe that.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

In the midst of the Iowa Caucus foofooraw, my youngest, Loen, is back in his room, cleaning up, with "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" playing on his PSP, hooked up to a room-filling but cheap home theater sound setup.

This is a 17-year-old with more than a modicum of taste. Your Aardvark is so proud.

OH!! Loen did this stop-motion animation last weekend. Check it out.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Wow! I'm three for three this year. You guys have no idea how much I love doing this blogging bit. Creativity. Juices flowing, getting my thoughts and all-important opinions out there. I've got to go for now, so as to sign up for more conventions for the year.

---------- but wait, there's MOAR! -----------------

It is the WORST CON YEAR EVER !!!!!!!!!

Here is some of what is out there:
http://www.narutotrek.com/

It's got Star Trek. It's got Narutards. I guess one out of two ain't bad, but the COMBO... It's like buffalo chips with French Onion Dip.

http://www.connooga.com/

Wow...Twiki... Local wrestling sensations...Thong Girl... Daniel Emery Taylor!!!


Actually, Thong Girl is an amusing concept, and REALLY tweaked the Keepers of Public Moraltude in Tennessee.
To borrow Jennie Breeden's tagline: It's not Satanic Porn...HONEST. It's just a tacky superheroine comic (and I mean tacky in the best possible kitschy way) that became a video series.

I'm really depressed.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008


Vidad Magoodn, he of the News Network, has made comment:
"Actually, I'm just envious that part of your job involves going to anime conventions. I hate anime... but that sounds like a LOT more fun than what I'm doing."

What's funny is that I turned to the Dread Dormomoo at Mile 301 on I-65N and asked
"I'm 50. Why do I keep doing this?"

Seriously. I love BEING where I am. It is the Getting There that is a pain. I dislike driving. It is such a waste of time. Thankfully, there are audiobooks, Bible CDs, and music.
So the question remains, beyond "Dude...she had PURPLE HAIR!!!".And the money.

There is the issue of ego strokes. At the end of a 3-day anime convention, there are scores of kids and adults wearing our shirts. Now to be clear, we sell OUR shirts. Our designs, our printing. These shirts are a part of us, not mere reselling of someone else's stuff. The Aardvarks actually have a fan base. This all adds up to major positive strokes.

By and large, the anime fans are a polite lot. Much that is positive in Japanese culture comes through in anime, especially the manners. Sez Ima Strawman of Omaha: "Oh, the kids are just copying the polite behavior they see." Hmmm...that sounds like learning to me. Besides, I'd rather have someone copying politesse than thuggery.

Vidad, why do you hate anime? Are you a thug? (Hey, I'm practicing political polemic, here.)

The retail shirt sales have exploded our business, and this is a good thing. It well and truly helps to make the con-to-con grind bearable.

There was a lovely Twilight Zone episode entitled "Kick the Can". The moral was "You're as old as you act". I'm 50, with reasonable health, a few aches here and there. In my HEAD, I'm still a teen. Early teen. I call men "Sir" who look like I do now. I've always called men who look like I do now "Sir". I collect toys. I sometimes do more than look at them. Being around these kids is a major boost. Maybe it's the aerosol hormone levels. Maybe our mental ages are consonant. I just know that I feel better talking with them, joking with them, listening to them. It's corny, but being with the youngers makes ME feel younger.

That's reason enough to drive 8 hours to a con.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008


HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!







This will be your Aardvark's
Loot Roster from the Christmas festivities.

* Pictured is the Fireflash model kit by Aoshima. The atomic jet liner first appeared in the Thunderbirds initial episode "Trapped in the Sky". This is awsome. Trust me.

* Looney Toons GOLDEN Collection: Volume 4

* Animaniacs Volume 1

* Fractured Flickers DVD

* A Dremel-type tool of Cunning Design

* A martini-mix set. Mmmmmm...libation-ey!

* "A Child's Christmas in Wales" DVD (Denholm Elliott)

* A glowing lava-rock looking Tiki head.

* A Tiki desk fountain. (See, I've got this serious Space-Age Bachelor Pad motif working in my office. It clashes a little with the toy collection)

* An uber pen set: fountain, biro, and mechanical pencil.

The stocking contained Jelly Babies, Reese bells, ThinkGeek Destruct Button, Walkers shortbread, assorted bungee-cord set (don't ask)...like that.

(The bungees immediately came in handy at Anime South, where we lassoed catgirls with them. No, really, we used 'em on the pop-up display)

Sunday, December 30, 2007


On the other hand...
Be afraid.
Be very afraid.

Hey Vidad...I got yer anime right here... (this is a cosplayer portraying Major Motoko Kusanagi from "Ghost in the Shell")





Here was our setup at Anime South.


Lotsa purty shirts.
On the other hand, the Hilton is a 20th-Century hotelier

...So I don't have WiFi. I have iBahn. Dialup speedy...thingie. Pricier than my van. ($9.95 per day) I know where Paris' allowance comes from. Though it rather makes sense, eviscerating the proletariat and all. Those who stay at Hilton resorts are of a particular social stratum, and all the add-ons are handleable by the wealthier amongst us. At the same time, they are onerous to those who are more, mmmmmm, budget-minded. It is the same effect as ball park ticket prices, and inflated prices for food and fannish goods like foam fingers.


Look who comes to the park on $5 ticket night.


The resort prices, while profit-oriented, serve another important job. They keep the hoi-polloi out. Now, your humble 'Vark is not acting Above His Station; he was here as a vendor for a convention, and enjoyed convention rates with the Dread Dormomoo. Enjoyed a good weekend of shirt sales, as well. Yaaaaay! CONFETTI!!

Mind you, this is in no way a bigot's screed. We enjoy upward mobility in our country, and you can leave the ignominy of the Cheap Seats for Skybox altitudes, whether your name is Cletus, Lamar, Shonequa, or Jin Woo (though Irish need not apply...). These are just some thoughts a-borning. Money provides a pretty good moat.






Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Hope you all had an Amazing Christmas Holiday.
We are prepping for Anime South in Destin, Florida THIS WEEKEND. Busy busy, busy.
So no shrewd commentary on the Human Condition today. I'll post from the Con, as I will have my 'Varkmotron laptop logic with me, with WiFi, no less.It IS, after all, the Twenty-First Century.

I am the very model of a modern blogging Aardvark.

---------------------------------------------------

OH! Go here and be amazed!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Tor-pe-do is aw-AAAAAY

Tor-pe-do is aw-AAAAAY


CunningDove over t' Vox's reports:

This morning on Fox & Friends they asked (Ron Paul) for his thoughts on Huckabee's latest commercial with a "cross" in the background. Paul stated that he was reminded of the quote by Lewis Sinclair, "When fascism comes to the United States it will come wrapped in the American Flag and carrying a cross."


There are those thinking this an ill-advised remark, and that Ron Paul has torpedoed himself, and is taking on water. Sadly, I believe that the Esteemed Congressman is right on the money. I recall reading of Hitler wrapping himself in religious and nationalistic bunting, for example.

Allow me to repeat myself: I am a Christian, a Bible-believer (though rarely a Bible-thumper - it wears out the cover). And as a believer, I state categorically that EVERY time I have voted for a politician who has run (at least in part) as being "a Christian", or religious - every time - it has turned around to bite me..

Every


time.


I have been voting since 1975.
I have been a Christian since at LEAST 1971.

This establishes a pattern. I have ALWAYS voted for "the Christian candidate". (Yes, that means that I voted for Jimmuh Carter. If there was a Purgatory, I would spend time there...)
Yes, I have always voted for the "Christian" candidate.
I have always been bitten on the bum because of it.
Mr. Peanut: High ideals from a loathsome leftist >CHOMP<


I voted for Guy Hunt, the Primitive Baptist preacher and former Amwayite (for Alabama Governor). I got Mortimer Snerd >CHOMP<


I voted for Bob Riley, the horsie-riding gubernatorial candidate, who promised no new taxes, and promptly sought a 2 billion dollar tax rise >CHOMP<


I voted for W.


The Lie of the Moral Majority and the Christian Coalition is that a united Christian vote Means Something in our post-Christian times. To quote a favorite Lewis character: "Show it me i' the Book!". I find no indication of Jesus or Paul advocating such political activism. To practice same seems antithetical to Christ's explanation to Pilate that "My kingdom is not of this world".

Political doings have been my life for twenty years. Vote Christian! Sadly, EVERY putatively Christian candidate for whom I have voted has bitten me on the bum, from Jimmuh Cahtuh on.


As far as activism, I remember well the parties in the streets that followed the overturning of Roe v. Wade. Do you remember where you were that day; remember how our Representatives listened to the majority outcry for the unborn, moved by the peaceful, hymn-singing, praying marchers standing for innocent lives?


Behold the spectacle of the American Church NOT speaking as Nathan to Washington's David, but wavering and keeping silent so as to maintain 501c3 status, for we all "know" that American Christians will contribute, not because cheerful giving delights their Lord, but because they can deduct their "charity" from their Income Taxes. Maybe my right hand should not know what my left is doing, but by Goo, Washington will.


But I digress. The Fear of the Left is of a Christian Theocracy running the country into lacklustre greyness. They would be willing to sell our country out to the mullahs' Islamic Allah-ocracy, and dhimmitude for all, just to avoid the HORRORS of an ascendant Biblical culture.But the Gospel does not call for a "Christian Government".

It calls for Christians to govern themselves, and to teach others to do the same. ANY candidate who wraps himself in the Christian Flag, whilst waving the American one, bears gimlet-eyed scrutiny. Dr, Congressman Paul is right.

Compassionate (Christian) Conservatism has yielded a landmark diminution of civil liberties, from rampant phone tapping to "Campaign Finance Reform".

Ron Paul is VERY Right.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

















There is another medical furor a-brewing. The Dread Dormomoo and I were listening to the radio box this AM, and a medical show came on. A new study indicates that overweight MAY not be as dire in individuals as was thought. This gives me hope, as your Aardvark more closely resembles a grocer than a burglar.The war is "Overweight vs.Obese".

People who are overweight but not obese have a lower risk of death than those of normal weight, federal researchers are reporting today.


The researchers - statisticians and epidemiologists from the National Cancer Institute and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention - also found that increased risk of death from obesity was seen for the most part in the extremely obese, a group constituting only 8 percent of Americans.



And being very thin, even though the thinness was longstanding and unlikely to stem from disease, caused a slight increase in the risk of death, the researchers said.


WOW. Wowee wowow WOW! Perhaps the rubric "Your fat's bad; mine's not." applies.
I mean, who could POSSIBLY object to such gladsome tidings (except perhaps Victoria's Secret models)?

[insert menacing blare of trumpets]

THE FAT POLICE!

Grumping like a Golden Corral customer whose steaks were overcooked, the Fat Police are whining about the methodology of the study.

Now the new study says that obesity and extreme obesity are causing about 112,000 extra deaths but that overweight is preventing about 86,000, leaving a net toll of some 26,000 deaths in all three categories combined, compared with the 34.000 extra deaths found in those who are underweight.


Dr. Donna Stroup, director of the Coordinating Center for Health Promotion at the C.D.C., noted that the previous study had used different data and different methods of analysis.


"Counting deaths is not an exact science," Dr. Stroup said.



Miz Dr. Stroup, we understand. Math is hard.

One complaint is that the new study diminishes the sense of danger engendered by the older "fat is BAD, your heart will explode" studies. On the radio report, one female science person referred to the old findings as "intuitive". C'mon, everyone KNOWS that a BMI above 3 is hazardous. Yeah, and I look terrible in Speedos.


(*child, tearfully shrieking*"Momeeee, what's THAT?"

"Look away Timmy...it's only a ....I don't know...I mean, I THINK it's... O dear Heaven...it has a MOUTH.... *snatches up Timmy and beats a retreat to the hotel*).

(The preceding was an exercise in self-deprecating fantastical humor, and no, I never even look at Speedos)

Read the article. The radio report presented the standard model as "If you ARE overweight, then you will BECOME obese". This understanding begets fear, and thus a measure of emotional control by the Anti-Fat League. One doctor (again female) was concerned that the new data would give a false security to those with a few extra pounds. In short, the OLD fear-mongering data is better, because it enables the Fat Police to better exert control through press releases and pressure upon Makers of Public Policy.

Nanny Science. Any data that contradicts the bad news, even if it is accurate, is to be discounted because the People need to be controlled by the fear of Death By Eclairs.


Friday, December 14, 2007

I received what may be the best email subject line EVER.

Apparently Vladimir Putin is ramping up hostility toward the West with a new tactic:

Hello, Beautiful Russian women waiting to meet YOU! mausoleum





Tuesday, December 11, 2007



I have an oddness for you.



Years ago, in the annals of the Tinfoil Hat Brigade, I heard a theory that there are areas on the planet where nuclear reactions won't work. Richard C. Hoagland was never mentioned, but it sounds like it is similar to some of his "hyper-dimensional physics" ideas.

Have any of you heard of this concept, or was it just a fever-dream?

I love chasing this kind of quasi-conspiracy stuff, but I haven't asked Google the correct question, apparently.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

I discovered "Slice of Laodicea" blog tonight. I recommend it.

One of the entries concerned the woes at ORU, and the less-than-connubial bliss of Richard and his missus. It linked to a worldling who has a clearer picture of How Things Should Be than do most church folk.

To drub the equine carcass again, The Local Church is the basis of the work of the Kingdom of God. The Scripture says it is the church for whom Christ died. The local church is the platform from which our Kingdom work is to done. Church giving is always a local affair, except in the case of Paul collecting offerings from multiple churches to aid the Jerusalem church during a time of famine. The local congregation maintains the local work, and elders (pastors, shepherds) are paid from thence, if they choose to receive it. The local church model is to train and send out "apostles" (sent ones) to plant other local congregations, establish mature church leadership, and then report back home.
There is no New Testament model for a congregation "hiring a preacher" to either lead the church, or do a majority of the teaching / preaching / community work.

Sorry, it is NOT in there. Even Timothy and Titus do not indicate that their position was "pastoral" in the current sense; rather they were to establish an eldership and diaconate based upon the character attributes listed in their epistles from Paul. Read the book of Acts, and the "Timothy and Titus epistles" to get a sense of the New Testament way of doing the work of the church.

The modern church (local congregation) is few and far between, that measures up to the New Testament model.

As has been said elsewhere, there is no Biblical command or example for "para-church" evangelistic associations, missionary societies, or (shudder) TV ministries. The local church is to accomplish all the goals set before it by the Lord, itself. God has gifted, instructed, commanded, and equipped the church to do the work, if we will but DO it.
We have been suckered into following a foreign model, foreign to Divine Will. We thus open the door to deception.

Deception like that of hearing the cries for money to send to teachers and preachers who purport to be doing God's Work for us.(Of course as "partners", so we get credit as well!) Individuals send money to people who only offer their word that they are doing God's Work. Whole congregations send money to "ministries" to help do Kingdom work. Good idea, but not according to Hoyle.

Church, you are wasting your (and God's!) resources to support Home Offices, and ministries with lavish expenses, when YOU (and I) are to be doing the work, ourselves, at home. Try giving locally to accomplish God's work God's way. You may be surprised at the results. I believe God might be pleased if you do things His way, as well.


He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the goose.

— —Fred Allen



I had NO idea that Fred Allen read my blog.
FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE!!!

Friday, December 07, 2007

Chez Aardvark is undergoing some renovations. The much-used garage is being Converted.

YAY-uss. Say BAY-bee!

IT began as a standard roll-up door garage in 1986. In January 1991, we had the front closed in, and it became the Factory Floor for Lifetees, the first incarnation of our t-shirt printing biz. Since then, I have moved the business out of the garage, and it became a weight room, then a wait room, as in "Wait 'til I find it out in the garage.". We have cleared it out, and the front third is becoming a den.Separate and apart, the rear third is a combo laundry room and darkroom for exposing and washing out the screens which give "screenprinting" its name.

Blogging will be spotty for a few days, then...PICTURES!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

"I was curious."

OK, here's the thing. (Mrs. Pilgrim, you'll like this.)
It is in vogue to be gay.
It is tres chic to be bi.

We are deluged by gayosity in our media, our sitcoms, our general culture, and even if it's a joke at the gay guy's expense, it's OK, because the message is gettin' out.

My family and I go to anime conventions as part of our business, and we see lots of kids who think they are gay. Loli girls walking around holding hands, bishi boys with their yaoi pals.
Lots of teen kids, convinced of their homosexuality. (Heteros, fear not, there are PLENTY of active couples in our teen culture as well.)

I have pondered this a lot, having children of my own, and a childhood of my own, and I believe that I have An Answer. I may not be a Mensa member, but this just makes sense. Our hyper-sexualized culture is yielding fruit.

When I was twelve or so, I was a voracious reader. Summer came, and I was devouring every book and magazine I could find. Worked through a ton of Reader's Digests and National Geographics, and needed more. I found a stack of large mags like McCall's and the Saturday Evening Post, and as I looked through the stack, I found a stratum of different magazines. Naked guy magazines. Intrigued by the novelty, I flipped through one, and...and...suddenly, the Gallant Salute. Now, I had friends in school who had the Naked Lady decks of cards, and I had no aversion to the female form undraped, but this reaction was unexpected and worrisome. (I was aware of my father's "alternate lifestyle", as they say; these were his mags secreted in a nondescript stack of Ladies' Home Journals. Oh, the Irony.)

Brothers and sisters, I was not ho-mo-sexual! My body did not react to male or female. It was reacting to the stimulus of the erotic. That is in main what these confused kids are reacting to. The yaoi and yuri manga, the sexual displays at every turn, the raging changes in their own bodies, hormonal, emotional; it is all about the erotic. If a young teen girl gets tingly at the sight of a nubile form, or if a guy responds to the sight of a naked male, this is not de facto evidence of homosexuality, but the gay publicity mill makes them think that they are. They are reacting to the erotic, nothing more.


This is a major reason for the call to modesty in the New Testament. Modest dress is helpful to those around, as it reduces distraction. The unclothed human body is fantastic to enjoy in the proper context (read: marriage). Frankly, when I saw a "news" report on Fox about Victoria's Secret (sales are off 40+ percent), I saw the undulating fem-flesh on the runway as more amusing than titillating. (as an aside, it seems culturally that breasts aren't special any more. No mystery, just pneumatic display.The VS models become anorexic Macy's Parade balloons.)


Homosexuality is a practice. It involves what you do. An involuntary reaction is one thing. Turning it into "lifestyle" and practice is another entirely. Let your kids know the difference, please. You could save them a world of worry, and yourself a load of grief.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Sunday night was a TREAT!


The much ballyhooed debut of "Tin Man" graced the aetheric flux tonight, thanks to the SciFi channel. It will be three two-hour events. Alan Cumming plays "Glitch" the cerebrotomized analogue to the Scarecrow of "The Wizard of Oz", and for the life of me, he sometimes channeled the moves and looks of Ray Bolger in that immortal role, and it didn't come across like mere mimicry. Think of The Scarecrow by way of an 80's discotheque. That's the look.


Zooey Deschanel, on the other hand (remember the Love Interest in "Elf"?) should be billed as the "Wooden Woman" of Tin Man. Gerry Anderson got better emotions out his actors. Ms. Deschanel plays "DG" whose dreams presage her journey to OZ, or as they say...the "Outer Zone".


You can read IMDB as well as I can, so I shall not belabor the plot points. This is a work produced by the Roberts.Halmi, the creative team who brought us the "Noah" mini-series, that had Lot and Noah as contemporaries. Noah picks Lot up from a raft in the middle of the Flood. (Cue God doing Don Adams voice in echoe chamber: :Missed it by that much!".)


This really plays like "Wizard of Oz meets Flash Gordon meets BioShock", and I mean the current SciFi channel Flash. The next seismic event you feel will be L. Frank Baum spinning in his grave, likely approaching relativistic speeds.


----------------------------------------------------------



Neal Boortz hates Glenn Beck. Beck's middle-America goofy cheer is to Boortz like having a root canal done with a slow Black & Decker drill and a rusty nail.



A bent one.



It is a shame that Boortz is in bed with Beck in mutual antipathy toward Ron Paul.
And why? They are both beating the neocon drum of "fighting the Terrace threat of Islamofascism" or somesuch. In fact, Boortz is behaving like the one-issue voters he decries. Really Neal, you gotta stop acting like a pro-lifer!

Friday, November 30, 2007

Gillian Gibbons is apparently on par with most public school teachers here in the YouEssof Ay. What a stellar example of stupidity, to name a Teddy Bear "Mohammed" in a Muslim country.

But wait...it's the KIDS wot done it. The class agreed to the name after one child suggested it.

But wait...there's MORE! The boy who suggested it did so because Mohammed is his name. He was not thinking of the Prophet, nor the Prophet's beard, at all. He wanted to name the toy after himself.

Gillian should have known better to agree, but I'll betcha she fully believed that Islam at heart is a Religion of Peace and Love for the Betterment of its adherents. And who shouldn't believe it? Just look at Sudan! Darfur, anyone? If I were a leader in Sudan, I really wouldn't want to make my country more noisome than it already is.

Islam is a mongrel religion, cobbled from paganism, and the fever-dreams of a terrorist and pederast. That's a great start. The asses' heads who burble about the "great Faith of Islam" clearly haven't read their Bibles. (I pause for that revelation to sink in.) The book of Romans teaches that "faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.". The Koran just doesn't pass muster doctrinally as an extension of Divine Thought.
No agreement 'twixt the two.

OH! now rioters are demanding that the teacher (who now must be longing for a cuppa by the fire), be executed for her Crimes against Islam. They want to execute a teacher whose students named the class Teddy Bear "Mohammed". Peace and Love, baby. Peace and Love.

Sorry, but this increases my level of respect for Islam no end. It makes me consider naming my next bowl of oatmeal "Mohammed".

PBUH.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

It's a train wreck, I tells ya.


I was feeling punk tonight...Loen and I may well be fighting the same bug. Thus we stayed home at church time. We made the grave error of watching the CNN-YouTube Republicrat debate.

Mercy.

Of course, I expected even-handed treatment at the hands of Anderson Cooper, as I expected piercing intelligent questions from the YouTube crowd.

...sorry, I just spewed hot tea out of my nose. I slay me!

It may be an obvious statement, but the entire debate was naught but an exercise in "How can we embarrass the candidates THIS time?". From the sad retired brigadier general whining about the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, clutching the big microphone, to the (likely) atheist plant holding up a Big Black Bible and asking "Do you believe every word of this book?", it was an infinite sadness. Ron Paul's real weakness is a tendency to dither while choosing the right phrasing, and he got precious little opportunity to showcase that.

Mitt Romney with his Laser-Eye Action TM was best at deferring to the wisdom of his advisors. John McCain was at his twitchy best. Giuliani was the most convincing of the bunch, as far as steady-on delivery is concerned. That zombie mouth of his is creepy, though. He reminds me of that Mummy in the original Jonny Quest.

A major irritant was the graph. Twelve men and twelve women, undecided voters all (they did not specify whether they were Republicans and Democrats). Of course, the U.V. is the stupidest beast on the planet, and is likely the reason there are so many Moderates elected. These U.V.'s each had a keypad where they registered their like or dislike for the answer of the moment. The 1-10 graph used "5" as a baseline, and a graph was superimposed over the face of the candidate. Each sex had a different color line, and you could track the relative mood of the cattle. After the debate the newschick asked if anyone had changed their minds (sorry, tea in my nose, again) and one white-haired woman said yes, she had. To John Edwards. Another manatee (manashe?)
was all open-minded about gays in the military, and that was sweet from a behemoth in green Spandex.

Did I say after the debate? They interrupted Hunter or Huckabee (sorry, I can't remember. Vanilla or French vanilla) to share the collective wisdom of the Undecideds.

Wow, what a show. I have such Hope for the future of the Republic.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

OK, Alan Keyes

Get a grip. I've supported you in the past. I mean, I even had your BUMPER STICKER on my van, and I did business with that van. The problem is, you just don't learn. There is an important lesson that has escaped you over the years, and through the attempts. I've said it before, and because my own writing impresses me so, I'll iterate:


Jeremiah never won an election.

I believe that what you will do if your candidacy develops any legs at all is that you will siphon off the lunatic fringe that might go for Ron Paul (I know that many will rollick over the unintentional comedy of that prophecy.) And you will both lose.

Please, Alan, give your stance a chance, and let Ron Paul run. Don't be his Perot. I believe that he has a chance to win.

I know that you don't.

'Cause I learned the lesson.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

The Angry Little Aardvark, Part the Second

This is a departure. Not politics, per se, not Biblicality (Boy, what a fun "Finish him" in Mortal Kombat...A 300-pound armored King James on a chain takes your opponent out as Shao Khan sepulchrally intones "Biblicality", whilst your fighter appears in a powder-blue leisure suit and pompadour. "Say Bay-bee").

I am livid over the Liberty Dollar seizure by the Feds.The head of the Mint had written that the Liberty Dollar was NOT in violation of law.

...correspondence between US Senator Bill Nelson of Florida and Edmond C Moy, Director of the US Mint. Of particular interest is Moy's statement that the (Liberty Dollar) paper Certificates are not covered by the Title 18, Section 486 and hence legal.


The whole sorry tale can be found here.

The Givemint has not only raided and seized the holdings of a legitimate business, but they have also stolen the money of those who hold some $20 million in Liberty Dollars. The Liberty Dollar is an alternative currency backed by precious metals. You know, like the Founders intended. Oh, and like God intended (Check the Mosaic Covenant on honest weights and measures).

The Feds are making it clear; Thou shalt have no other Currency before Mine.

Read the LD site. Join the fight for HONEST money.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

I have an experiment going.

There is a little also-ran auction site called BidVille.

My ID there is Aardvark3.

I would like to see if I can drive some traffic there. (Not necessarily to buy my stuff, but to build up the thing.) I have already begun getting Christmas goodies on BidVille. You can get good, new merchandise there. You can sell for far less than on eBay, as well.

So check it out, maybe open an account and sell that extra fondue pot for some extra Christmas cash!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING...and a Pox upon "Turkey Day"


What private property does -- as the Pilgrims discovered -- is connect effort to reward, creating an incentive for people to produce far more. Then, if there's a free market, people will trade their surpluses to others for the things they lack. Mutual exchange for mutual benefit makes the community richer.
Secure property rights are the key. When producers know that their future products are safe from confiscation, they will take risks and invest. But when they fear they will be deprived of the fruits of their labor, they will do as little as possible.
That's the lost lesson of Thanksgiving. -- John Stossel


I am thankful for my family. I am thankful for the few friends I have - few being more a function of my busy-ness than of inherent unloveability - and for the business we have been so blessed with. I am thankful for this nation, and for the wisdom of its Founders, and for men like Ron Paul and even (!) Neal Boortz who strive to point us back to their instruction and example. For God, the Gifts of His Son and the Holy Spirit, and the church for whom Christ died. I am thankful for that empty tomb.

I am also thankful for the readers here, who make this less an exercise in futility and hubris.

I am NOT thankful for the waggish term "Turkey Day", a noisome term coined by comics wishing a hat-tip to the day, but with none of the attendant theistic baggage. It is flip, and unworthy.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

On Charismania.


Unlike many of my brethren, I am not convinced that the completion of the Canon spelled Doom for the charismata. That view requires an assumption, one not supported in Scripture, that the Spiritual Gifts were primarily for the Inspiration of the Scriptures.
I don't make an issue of it, as it is a divisive idea, but I don't shrink from discussing it if anyone inquires.

What's the point? I have seen a lot of stupidity done in the name of "the Holy Spirit".
Such silliness places it in the realm of Charismania, as distinguished from the charismatic.
I was musing this afternoon on the phenomenon I call "The Thursday Night Cough-and-Spew". This house party masquerades as a prayer meeting or Bible study, when in reality it as a coffee-klatsch for the chronically demonized. Your besetting sin or habit like addiction to pR0n, or habitual nail-biting, is dealt with, Hey Presto!, and you have the offending problem cast out of you. Victory in Jesus! -- 'til next week.

Now, I have no problem with the idea of deliverance from demons. Jesus dealt with 'em, treated them as sentient personalities, and took authority over them. He bequeathed that authority to the church. Aside from one misapplied verse from Zechariah, there is no Scriptural indication that trouble with evil spirits would cease after the first advent of Christ. Where my problem lies is the quick-and-easy shortcut to discipleship called "deliverance ministry". There is nothing in the New Testament that remotely resembles what passes for "deliverance" today. I have a habit...I go to the meeting...the group prays for me (in my experience with these groups, they are USUALLY led by self-styled woman "pastors")...I begin a set of learned responses, to wit, coughing, gagging, and being brought to crisis. The deliverance complete, I go home to...

The problem beginning again two days later.

I am speaking in generalities, but you get the point. I believe in prayer as being effective. I also believe that I am to be discipled, taught how to live the Christian life by those older and more experienced. Deliverance-so-called is no shortcut or substitute for maturity and growth. Much of what is practiced is psychodrama in the name of Jesus, a quick fix for the seeker, another notch on the belt of the "minister".

I do not mean to lump true deliverance in with the sloppy doctrine of today. Jesus' ministry was fully a third involved with casting out demons from the demonized. One of the charismata granted the church is "discerning of spirits", but to turn such effective methodologies into a carnival sideshow, Pentecostal primal-scream therapy, or some other pop-psych substitute for discipline, for trying , does violence to the Gospel, which itself is the power of God unto salvation.

Monday, November 19, 2007

I have a confession.


I am a Christian. (Allow me the hubris of self-applying what should be a gift word).

I am a Christian, and you have nothing to fear from me. I will not break down your door to stop whateveritisyoudo in your living room. I will DEFINITELY not intrude in your sanctum sanctorum to see what toys you have in your nightstand, and I certainly won't rummage in your medicine chest to see what creams and ointments you employ. (I make no promises about checking out your bookshelf.) You see, what you do, smoke, or imbibe in the sanctity of your home is NOT MY BUSINESS. It is certainly God's business; it is just as certainly not mine.

What's more... and this is KEY...I do not wish to employ the Armed Might of the Givemint to intrude into your bedroom, livingroom, or patio. This is to say. I do not wish to grant the Government what is surely only God's purview. If you murder your wife, that's one thing. Thou shalt not. However, smoking with, drinking with, or pleasuring her is not Government's concern.

What's MORE important is that I do not wish to vote for candidates who want to push their personal beliefs through the legislative sausage mill and make YOU eat it..
"But what about aBORtion?" Wow. See how successful the pro-life whine machine has been in fixing that little problem. (I say this as a pro-life person who has marched and donated and prayed and voted.) The only effective way to stop abortion is one at a time, through counseling and discipling. Go ahead and argue. History proves me right. Government is entirely the problem in the current abortion issue. (Well, maybe sin, selfishness and greed. Oh, wait...)

Now that the "A" word has been invoked, and none of my reader can think of anything else: It is no mistake in the banning of school prayer, Bibles in school, (Christian) public religious observance, and the coinciding zenith of Federal power. You cannot serve two masters.
The Federal government wants to be your master.I refuse to grant it more power. I will not vote for one who would make the Fed even more our master.

This is not to say that I believe in "anything goes". There are laws, and there is Law. If you are a lawbreaker, you should pay. Child molesters, murderers and such need not apply. The jury's out on jaywalkers. The point is, things that are between you and the Almighty need to remain so. If you bring the government into it, well, you get what you deserve for so doing. The Police Power of der Schtaat is a grievous thing and not something to be invoked lightly. It's like waving the MacLeod Faerie Flag to fend off Jehovah's Witnesses at the gate. I do not see Jesus, Peter, John, nor Paul marching to Rome to demand Christian Civil Rights, or to get legislation to stop the infernal practice of infant exposure (a kind of ex post facto abortion). Jesus said, make disciples of the nations. The rest of the gang proceeded so to do.

If through reading or hearing God's Word, with gentle enlightenment by the Holy Spirit, you become of the conviction that you are in error in a belief or practice, well, that's God's job, and if you want to talk, fine. But I'll not wag the Bony Finger of Judgment at you.

And I will not seek legislation against you.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Your Inner European is Dutch!

Open minded and tolerant.
You're up for just about anything.
Oh come ON...

The Patster has placed his imprimatur on Rudy-Boy. "DANGER, DANGER, Pat Robertson!"
Apparently those mega-health shakes aren't cleaning out the baffles of your mind.

---------------------------------------------------

Yes, I'm posting again. I have been so amazingly busy with printing and conventions that I have had to triage my time, and sadly, the Plumbline took the hit. Truly, sadly, as this outlet is important to me. I have YET to finish Roci's list of questions, but it HAS been on my mind.

David Goodman has stopped by and commented. I want to meet him and enjoy Convivial Good Fellowship, with potables and cigars. That would be neat. I shall link to his blog, as well as the OTHER person who linked to me, and no I did not forget, just haven't gotten around to the chore of inserting a line of HTML. And the dog ate my homework.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Now, let it be known that I am not a rabid Paulist, as people were rabid Perotistas lo, those many years ago. I have one-or-two mild disagreements with him, but COME ON, people, why are the "Christian" voters not looking at this guy? Ron Paul is the most socially conservative guy to come along in A-while. Is it the war? Since when did Christians not like a guy for BEING AGAINST A WAR? Does Jesus want us to bomb the Jihadists straight to Gehenna? WAIT! It's because he is "pro-DRUGS"!

No, he isn't. He is AGAINST anything in the Federal government that violates the Constitution. You know, the CONSTITUTION! The "Bible" of our system of governance.
George W. Bush's "damn piece of paper". He wants to follow the rules, rules penned by men far smarter than Ted Kennedy, Harry Reid, or Nancy Pelosi. Or even Jeff Sessions or Richard Shelby.

I am weary to the point of nausea of the alleged conservative voices on radio not even MENTIONING Paul in their litany of Prexy hopefuls. I have respect for Laura Ingraham, but even she cannot utter the Dread Syllables.

His name is Ron Paul, and he is seeking the Republican nomination to run for President of These United States.

Hmmm...maybe I AM becoming rabid. I know that no-one else of any party gives me any sense of hope. The debates just look like the 1984 Apple ad, all massive and grey and droning. Makes me want to learn Russian.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Here is a fascinating look at the beginnings of what now passes for disciple-making in the Twenty-First Century:

The Sinner's Prayer

Written and copyright by Steven Francis Staten

The earliest notion of sinners prayer is less than 500 years old. It wasn't formalized as a theology until around the time of Billy Graham.

No one in the Bible ever prayed for their initial salvation. They did however believe, repent, confess Jesus and be immersed in water for the forgiveness of their sins. The sinners prayer is an innovation that thwarts God's plan of salvation. First they replaced believers baptism by immersion with infant baptism by sprinkling. Second they later replaced baptism altogether with the "sinners prayer" so that baptism is no longer even part of the plan of salvation....

The Sinner's Prayer

C.S. Lewis used the term "a great cataract of nonsense" to describe how people use a modern idea to construe Bible theology. One such example, perhaps the best example, is a conversion method called the Sinner's Prayer. It is more popularly known as the Four Spiritual Laws.

Lewis used this term to describe what happens when someone looks backward at the Bible based only on what he or she has known. Instead, an evangelical should first discern conversion practices from Scriptures and then consider the topic in light of two thousand years of other thinkers. As it is, a novel technique popularized through recent revivals has replaced the biblically sound practice.

Today, hundreds of millions hold to a belief system and salvation practice that no one had ever held until relatively recently. The notion that one can pray Jesus into his or her heart and that baptism is merely an outward sign are actually late developments. The prayer itself dates to the Billy Sunday era; however, the basis for talking in prayer for salvation goes back a few hundred years.

Consider the following appeal:

"Just accept Christ into your heart through prayer and he'll receive you. It doesn't matter what church you belong to or if you ever do good works. You'll be born again at the moment you receive Christ. He's at the door knocking. You don't even have to change bad habits, just trust Christ as Savior. God loves you and forgives you unconditionally. Anyone out there can be saved if they ... Accept Christ, now! Let us pray for Christ to now come into your heart."


Sound familiar? This method of conversion has had far-reaching effects worldwide as many have claimed this as the basis for their salvation. Yet, what is the historical significance of this conversion? How did the process of rebirth, which Jesus spoke of in John 3, evolve into praying him into one's heart? I believe it was an error germinating shortly after the Reformation, which eventually caused great ruin and dismay in Christendom. By supplying a brief documentation of its short, historical development, I hope to show how this error has served as "a great cataract of nonsense".

The Reformation
Although things weren't ideal after the Reformation, for the first time in over a thousand years the general populace was reading the Scriptures. By the early 1600s, one hundred years after the Reformation was initiated, there were various branches of European Christendom that followed national lines. For instance, Germans followed Martin Luther. There were also Calvinists (Presbyterian), the Church of England (Episcopalian), various branches of Anabaptists and, of course, the Roman church (Catholics). Most of these groups were trying to revive the waning faith of their already traditionalized denominations. However, a consensus had not been reached on issues like rebirth, baptism or salvation--even between Protestants.

The majority still held to the validity of infant baptism even though they disagreed on its significance. Preachers tended to minimize baptism because people hid their lack of commitment behind sayings like "I am a baptized Lutheran and that's that." The influence of the preachers eventually led to the popular notion that one was forgiven at infant baptism but not yet reborn. Most Protestants were confused or ambivalent about the connection between rebirth and forgiveness.

The Great Awakening
The Great Awakening was the result of fantastic preaching occurring in Europe and the eastern colonies during the early to mid 1700s. Though ambivalent on the practice of baptism, Great Awakening preachers created an environment that made man aware of his need for an adult confession experience. The experiences that people sought were varied. Jonathan Edwards, George Whitfield and John Wesley furthered ideas of radical repentance and revival. Although there is much to be learned from their messages, they did not solve the problems of the practices associated with baptism and conversion.

Eventually, the following biblical passage written to and inspired for lukewarm Christians became a popular tool for the conversion of non-Christians:

"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write: These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation. ....Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." (Revelation 3:14-20)


This passage was written explicitly for lukewarm Christians. Now consider how a lecturer named John Webb misused this passage in the mid 1700s as a basis of evangelizing non-Christians:

"Here is a promise of Union to Christ; in these words, I will come in to him. i.e. If any Sinner will but hear my Voice and open the Door, and receive me by Faith, I will come into his Soul, and unite him to me, and make him a living member of that my mystical body of which I am the Head." (Christ's Suit to the Sinner, 14)


Preachers heavily relied on Revelation 3:20. By using the first-person tense while looking into the sinner's eyes, preachers began to speak for Jesus as they exhorted, "If you would just let me come in and dine with you, I would accept you." Even heathens who had never been baptized responded with the same or even greater sorrow than churchgoers. As a result, more and more preachers of Christendom concluded that baptism was merely an external matter--only an outward sign of an inward grace. In fact, Huldreich Zwingli put this idea forth for the very first time. Nowhere in church history was such a belief recorded. It only appears in Scripture when one begins with a great cataract of nonsense. In other words, it only appears in the New Testament through the imagination of readers influenced by this phenomenon.

Mourner's Seat
A method originated during the 1730s or '40s, which was practically forgotten for about a hundred years. It is documented that in 1741 a minister named Eleazar Wheelock had utilized a technique called the Mourner's Seat. As far as one can tell, he would target sinners by having them sit in the front bench (pew). During the course of his sermon "salvation was looming over their heads." Afterwards, the sinners were typically quite open to counsel and exhortation. In fact, as it turns out they were susceptible to whatever prescription the preaching doctor gave to them. According to eyewitnesses, false conversions were multiplied. Charles Wesley had some experience with this practice, but it took nearly a hundred years for this tactic to take hold.

Cane Ridge
In 1801 there was a sensational revival in Cane Ridge, Kentucky that lasted for weeks. Allegedly, people barked, rolled over in the aisles and became delirious because there were long periods without food in the intense heat. It resulted in the extreme use and abuse of emotions as thousands left Kentucky with wild notions about rebirth. Today it is generally viewed as a mockery to Christianity.



The excesses in Cane Ridge produced expectations for preachers and those seeking religious experience. A Second Great Awakening, inferior to the first, was beginning in America. Preachers were enamored with the idea that they could cause (manipulate) people into conversion. One who witnessed such nineteenth century hysteria was J. V. Coombs who complained of the technique:

"The appeals, songs, prayers and the suggestion from the preacher drive many into the trance state. I can remember in my boyhood days seeing ten or twenty people laying unconscious upon the floor in the old country church. People called that conversion. Science knows it is mesmeric influence, self-hypnotism … It is sad that Christianity is compelled to bear the folly of such movements." (J.V. Coombs, Religious Delusions, 92ff).


The Cane Ridge Meeting became the paradigm for revivalists for decades. A lawyer named Charles Finney came along a generation later to systemize the Cane Ridge experience through the use of Wheelock's Mourner's Seat and Scripture.

Charles Finney

It wasn't until about 1835 that Charles Grandison Finney (1792-1875) emerged to champion the system utilized by Eleazar Wheelock. Shortly after his own conversion he left his law practice and would become a minister, a lecturer, a professor, and a traveling revivalist. He took the Mourner's Seat practice, which he called the Anxious Seat, and developed a theological system around it. Finney was straightforward about his purpose for this technique and wrote the following comment near the end of his life:

"The church has always felt it necessary to have something of this kind to answer this very purpose. In the days of the apostles, baptism answered this purpose. The gospel was preached to the people, and then all those who were willing to be on the side of Christ, were called out to be baptized. It held the place that the anxious seat does now as a public manifestation of their determination to be Christians"


Finney made many enemies because of this innovation. The Anxious Seat practice was considered to be a psychological technique that manipulated people to make a premature profession of faith. It was considered to be an emotional conversion influenced by some of the preachers' animal magnetism. Certainly it was a precursor to the techniques used by many twentieth century televangelists.



In opposition to Finney's movement, John Nevin, a Protestant minister, wrote a book called The Anxious Bench. He intended to protect the denominations from this novel deviation. He called Finney's New Measures "heresy", a "Babel of extravagance", "fanaticism", and "quackery". He also said, "With a whirlwind in full view, we may be exhorted reasonably to consider and stand back from its destructive path." It turns out that Nevin was somewhat prophetic. The system that Finney admitted had replaced biblical baptism, is the vertebrae for the popular plan of salvation that was made normative in the twentieth century by the three Bills --- Billy Sunday, Billy Graham and Bill Bright.

Dwight Moody and R. A. Torrey



However, it wasn't until the end of Finney's life that it became evident to everyone and himself that the Anxious Bench approach led to a high fallout rate. By the 1860s Dwight Moody (1837-1899) was the new apostle in American evangelicalism. He took Finney's system and modified it. Instead of calling for a public decision, which tended to be a response under pressure, he asked people to join him and his trained counselors in a room called the Inquiry Room. Though Moody's approach avoided some of the errors encountered in Finneyism, it was still a derivative or stepchild of the Anxious Bench system.

In the Inquiry Room the counselors asked the possible convert some questions, taught him from Scripture and then prayed with him. The idea that prayer was at the end of the process had been loosely associated with conversion in the 1700s. By the late 1800s it was standard technique for 'receiving Christ' as Moody's influence spread across both the United States and the United Kingdom. This was where a systematic Sinner's Prayer began, but was not called as such until the time of Billy Sunday.



R. A. Torrey succeeded Moody's Chicago-based ministry after his death in 1899. He modified Moody's approach to include "on the spot" street conversions. Torrey popularized the idea of instant salvation with no strings attached, even though he never intended as much. Nonetheless, "Receive Christ, now, right here" became part of the norm. From that time on it became more common to think of salvation outside of church or a life of Lordship.

Billy Sunday and the Pacific Garden Mission
Meanwhile in Chicago, Billy Sunday, a well-known baseball player from Iowa, had been converted in the Pacific Garden Mission. The Mission was Chicago's most successful implementation of Moody's scheme. Eventually, Sunday left baseball to preach. He had great public charm and was one of the first to mix ideas of entertainment with ministry. By the early 1900s he had become a great well-known crusade leader. In his crusades he popularized the Finney-Moody method and included a bit of a circus touch. After fire and brimstone sermons, heavy moralistic messages with political overtones, and humorous if not outlandish behavior, salvation was offered. Often it was associated with a prayer, and at other times a person was told they were saved because they simply walked down his tabernacle's "sawdust trail" to the front where he was standing. In time people were told they were saved because they publicly shook Sunday's hand, acknowledging that they would follow Christ.

Billy Sunday died in 1935 leaving behind hundreds of his imitators. More than anything else, Billy Sunday helped crusades become acceptable to all denominations, which eventually led to a change in their theology. Large religious bodies sold out on their reservations toward these new conversion practices to reap the benefits of potential converts from the crusades because of the allure of success.

Both Dwight Moody and Billy Sunday admitted they were somewhat ignorant of church history by the time they had already latched on to their perspectives. This is highly significant because the Anxious Seat phenomenon and offshoot practices were not rooted in Scripture nor in the early church.
Billy Graham, Bill Bright

Billy Graham and his crusades were the next step in the evolution of things. Billy Graham was converted in 1936 at a Sunday-styled crusade. By the late 1940s it was evident to many that Graham would be the champion of evangelicalism. His crusades summed up everything that had been done from the times of Charles Finney through Billy Sunday except that he added respectability that some of the others lacked. In the 1950s Graham's crusade counselors were using a prayer that had been sporadically used for some time. It began with a prayer from his Four Steps to Peace with God. The original four-step formula came during Billy Sunday's era called in a tract called Four Things God Wants you to Know. The altar call system of Graham had been refined by a precise protocol of music, trained counselors and a speaking technique all geared to help people 'accept Christ as Savior.'

In the late 1950s Bill Bright came up with the exact form of the currently popular Four Spiritual Laws so that the average believer could take the crusade experience into the living room of their neighbor. Of course, this method ended with the Sinner's Prayer. Those who responded to crusades and sermons could have the crusade experience at home when they prayed,

"Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be."


Later, in 1977 Billy Graham published a now famous work entitled, How to Be Born Again. For all the Scripture he used, he never once uses the hallmark rebirth event in the second chapter of the book of Acts. The cataract (blind spot) kept him away from the most powerful conversion event in all Scripture. It is my guess that it's emphasis on baptism and repentance for the forgiveness of sins was incompatible with his approach.

The Living Bible and Beyond
By the late 1960s it seemed that nearly every evangelical was printing some form of the Four Spiritual Laws in the last chapter of their books. Even a Bible was printed with this theology inserted into God's Word. Thus, in the 1960s, the Living Bible's translation became the translation of choice for the crusades as follows:

"Even in his own land and among his own people, the Jews, he was not accepted. Only a few welcome and received him. But to all who received him, he gave the right to become children of God. All they needed to do was to trust him to save them. All those who believe this are reborn! --not a physical rebirth resulting from human passion or plan--but from the will of God."(John 1:11-13, Living Bible- bold emphasis mine)


The bold words have no support at all in the original Greek. They are a blatant insertion placed by presuppositions of the translator, Kenneth Taylor. I'm not sure that even the Jehovah's Witnesses have authored such a barefaced insertion in their corrupt Scriptures. In defense of Taylor's original motives, the Living Bible was created primarily with children in mind. However, the publishers should have corrected the misleading verse in the 1960s. They somewhat cleared it up in the newer LB in the 1990s, only after the damage has been done. For decades mainstream evangelicals were using the LB and circular reasoning to justify such a strong 'trusting moment' as salvation, never knowing their Bible was corrupted.

A whole international enterprise of publishers, universities and evangelistic associations were captivated by this method. The phrases, "Receive Christ," and "Trust Jesus as your personal savior," filled airwaves, sermons, and books. James Kennedy's Evangelism Explosion counselor-training program helped make this concept of conversion an international success. Missionaries everywhere were trained with Sinner's Prayer theology. Evangelicalism had the numbers, the money, the television personas of Graham and Kennedy and any attempt to purport a different plan of salvation would be decried as cultic and "heresy."

Most evangelicals are ignorant of where their practice came from or how Christians from other periods viewed biblical conversion. C.S. Lewis regarded it as chronological snobbery when we don't review our beliefs against the conclusions of others:

"Most of all, perhaps, we need intimate knowledge of the past. Not that the past has any magic about it, but because we cannot study the future, and yet need something to set against the present, to remind us that the basic assumptions have been quite different in different periods and that much which seems certain to the uneducated is merely temporary fashion. A man who has lived in many places is not likely to be deceived by the local errors of his native village; the scholar has lived in many times and is therefore in some degree immune from the great cataract of nonsense that pours from the press and the microphone of his own age." (Learning in Wartime, 1939)


While most do this unknowingly, evangelicals are skewing church auditoriums all over the world from a clear (Biblical) picture of conversion with a nonsensical practice.If you prayed the "sinners prayer" for your salvation, you are still lost in your sins, because it is not what God said to do.

Written and copyright by Steven Francis Staten

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Alabamastan Marches into the 21ST Century!


Decatur, AL city council passed an ordinance BANNING smoking in public places.

Woe betide the BBQ restaurants so prevalent there.

Also in the news:

Court Leaves Ala. Sex Toy Ban Intact

Decatur loses before AND after.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Your Top Match

Based on your responses, your top candidate for 2008 is below.

Texas Representative Ron Paul (R)

Texas Representative Ron Paul (R)

85.00% match
Betrayal

One thing that I hear across the board, whether reading, talking with folks in semi-counseling mode, or watching the Farnsworth box, is that if a woman is unfaithful (read: screws around on her S.O.) the virtually universal response is:

She shakes her blonde little head, and with quivering mouth and running mascara says in tearful tones:
"I was confused."

This brings me no small amount of amusement and angst.

"Counselor Troi, what do you sense?"
"I feel ahnger...and great joy...."


I'm kind of a black-and-white guy. I even prefer B&W photography. All those colors just get in the way. So, emotional nuance is something that sometimes escapes me, even though I'm a sensitive 21st-century kind of guy.

What part of "faithful" do you not understand? What part of "vows" escapes your cognizance? What is confusing about "Don't commit adultery"? Does the brain utterly shut down in a fog of arousal? Is it pointless to train kids in morality, in Biblical standards of behavior?

Does God demand the utterly impossible?

"I was confused."

FEH.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

The Aamazing Aardvark makes his challenge

Well kiddies, I have a little challenge for the evangelicals around the ant-hill. The Lord makes various references to Doors and Keys in His teaching, so I want to know:
Where in the Gospel (or even in apostolic teaching in the New Testament) is it taught that in order to become a Christian, one must pray a prayer and "ask Jesus into your heart"?

I am offering a bounty of $200.00 (Two-hundred dollars) for the Biblical source of this teaching. Not a huge sum, but surely more than ZERO dollars.

There are two restrictions:

First: Do not deign twist the Scripture by pointing to Revelation 3:20

"Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me."


This is written to the church at Laodicea (the church, which is made up of people who are already IN Christ), and thus refers to fellowship with Christ, not entry into the Kingdom.

Second: Do not supply a daisy-chain of unrelated, de-contextualized bits of Scripture.
When the Jews in Acts 2, to whom Peter preached, cried out in terror upon learning of their theocide, Peter provided the remedy, the Keys to the Kingdom, if you will. He did not send them roaming through Romans (yes, I KNOW Romans had not been written yet), or marching through Malachi. He spoke simply and clearly, and gave them the answer.

So, If you can show me Biblically verifiable, apostolic teaching that cannot be Scripturally refuted, that you pray a prayer, and ask Jesus into your heart in order to become a Christian (in order to be saved), then the first one who does so will receive two hundred dollars, US. ($200.00).

On the other hand, if you cannot produce such evidence, then why do you believe it, and why do you teach it?

Friday, September 21, 2007

If I may shoot from the hip, the Jena LA racial tensions may be misplaced.
The CBS Radio news had a young woman of color defending the six stalwarts of hue who beat up one white stoont. She said that there was a double standard in the way justice is applied between the races. Clearly a product of the public schools, as it should be clear that six-to-one beats a mere double standard any day.

I am aware that there was Provocation. There always is, especially where the unalike are forced to be in close proximity.

"Oooooooh, he's a RAY-cisst." Nope. some of my best friends...blah blah. The Freedom to Assemble is a dearly won right which has been trampled in the effort to Be Nice To Everyone. As a youth, I was struck by inequities that I saw. My (then in his eighties) grandfather was a doctor, the last of the breed of GPs who would make house calls, and accept produce as payment. Turnips and okra and country hams have been seriously devalued in their rate of exchange of late. Ben Bernanke should see to this. His office had two-count 'em- two waiting rooms. One was somewhat cushier than the other. This was odd to me, but I was too young to become a Freedom Rider.

We have a broad assortment vari-colored folk in our orbit. A good friend and business associate is the spokesman for the local NAACP chapter, and he is not in the habit of hanging out with bigots. The Klan visited our town last weekend, and I suggested that we both go in sheets, throw off our hoods, and have him shout "Where the white wimmen at?" He loves "Blazing Saddles", but we agreed it was probably a bad move.

My youngest son is a budding photojournalist, and went to the rally to take pictures of the sheetsters. I'll post some with suitable commentary.

My point is, like people tend to flock together. The classic microcosmic sociological study occurred at the filming of "Planet of the Apes". The makeup was so involved that the actors had to eat in costume. Sure enough, the chimps ate with the chimps, the orangutans ate with orangutans, gorillas with gorillas. Charlton Heston ate with God, I guess.

If I want to hang out with Asians, or Africans, or Guatemalans, or even Presbyterians, then I'll happily do so. Just don't MAKE me do it.

It's like teaching a pig to sing.
You just get all muddy,

...and it annoys the pig.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I love all my reader.

I will be back in the bloggish saddle this weekend. We have been absolutely swamped at Aardvark Screenprinting. It is amazing how busy we are. Keeps me away from the Important. Ahhh, the Tyranny of the Immediate.

As I said LAST weekend, I'll finish my answers to Rocinante's 12 questions. This weekend.

I will also post a Challenge. With Money, even. If the Amazing Randi can do it....

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

9-11 musing

(Firstly, Roci's questioning is not being ignored. My work load has avalanched, and I've not been able to finish. This weekend is my goal)

Nine-eleven. (NOT nine-one-one...that's the emergency phone number.) Tune in your television box, or radio, and let the scab-picking commence. Rolls of Our Honored Dead are unfurled and read to renew the mourning of those who should be over it by now.If it were for a purpose, it would be one thing. It could be a tool of maintaining National Rage at the Evil Ones wot done it. (Curse the Japs...kill The Hun...like that. We used to do war so well .) Now we are involved in an endless round of Kum-ba-ya. Light those candles, and get out the Kleenex. If we had a focus of Evil, we could at least flick our scabs at it, but even Osama bin Ladin is reduced to a Grecian Formula ad, with his hot new beard color and all. No, kiddies, there must be an Emperor, a Fuehrer, to aim our rage at. "Terrorism" is wholly insufficient. An "ism" is only good for Cold wars, filled with spies and propaganda. The Hatfields did not aim thar shootin' irons at "McCoyism"; they were too busy shooting at Cletus and Clem. This hoedown is yet another reminder of our National Impotency, and there is no magic pill to save us.

At least the mourners have gotten a day off.