Y'know, homeschooling has some real perqs. I mean, besides lessening government school propaganda sluicing away the little grey cells. If you'll pardon my being pedantic, homeschool field trips are wa-a-a-ay cool! Momoovark and the two youngers are going to Birmingham to visit the Golden Flake plant, the wellspring of so many bags of sodium-glutted goodness in the Dread Mart of Wal's cunningly named "salty snacks" aisle. Alabama is to Golden Flake as Bert Lahr is to Lays. These kids will be watching the Very Merchants of Doom ply their lipidous trade, breathing air which alone will cause weight gain. Golden Flake. O, to be Young again. Stupid Atkins...

Then they get to go to the Birmingham Zoo, where they will experience Smells of Another Sort. Don't forget to dodge at the orangutan cage...errrrr, HABITAT. The old one is a sharpshooter.